


Bookmarked

by halfmoonjisung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - After College/University, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Magical Realism, Pining, book character!jaemin, it’s all very warm and soft trust me, math instructor!renjun, past one sided markren, unrealistic plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27929095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfmoonjisung/pseuds/halfmoonjisung
Summary: Renjun knows these things:1. A book character is not supposed to appear in different novels that aren’t connected to each other.2. A book character is not supposed to come to life and suddenly crash into Renjun’s world (it’s the real one).3. A book character is not supposed to rely on Renjun for help just to get back to all the stories he’s supposed to be in.4. A book character is not supposed to make Renjun fall in love.♡♡♡In which Jaemin is a book character that keeps coming to life and Renjun is the reader that has to deal with him every single time.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Mark Lee
Comments: 60
Kudos: 388
Collections: the misfits' holiday exchange





	Bookmarked

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bunnyctzen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnyctzen/gifts).



> > _first of all, hi lee! ♡_  
>  i tried to combine your prompts into one (pirates, vampires, magic) and yeah, this is the result! i’m already apologizing for the mess you’re about to read ;;; take your time reading this! i know it’s long djdjkd you don’t have to read it in one sitting, just read when you feel like it ^^ 
> 
> [ ♡ ] when i outlined this fic i honestly thought i’m gonna reach like 15k at max and now here we are,,,,,, my longest one shot yet ;;; also i just realized i haven't really written any renship long fics until this one ><
> 
> [ ♡ ] honestly while writing this i was visualizing some sort of disney channel original movie vibes (but i think it's a lot softer than that) so as always, please go easy on me ;-; 
> 
> [ ♡ ] i’d like to emphasize that the lyrics used at the start and end of the fic as well as the song playing on a later scene (which is just basically the overall vibe of the fic) are all from **taylor swift’s “new year’s day”**
> 
> [full playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3JrYBqvH5Z5Sb34oQJZY8o?si=aB2ZUp4eRLuJC7VeDZBzjQ) (i recommend listening to this while reading)
> 
> and with that, happy holidays! enjoy the fic~
> 
> _p.s. there's a very personal message at the end of the fic that you don't have to read ^^ i put it at the very last part so you'll be able to find my socials + important notes without having to read it :)_

  
  
  


_There's glitter on the floor after the party  
Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby  
Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor  
You and me from the night before  
_

  
  


❦  
 **as no one**  


  
  
  


It’s the moment when Renjun realized that the guy he used to be so in love with will never love him back that he stopped believing in fairytale endings altogether. 

Though it is a given that from the start that it’s such a silly, childish hope, he still hoped. 

Renjun has lived his life in between pages that take him to worlds beyond this universe, and in every single one, they bring magic; magic that is promised to him someday, when he gets his own novel-worthy story. And so, he begins to cling on that thread of hope that he’ll feel the rush of magic firsthand someday.

It’s why when he fell in love for one of his best friends, he let himself dive through the freefall, headfirst to the pits of yearning without holding himself back.

Mark Lee—the longest person Renjun has ever loved. They were a group of three that met in college; him, Jeno and Mark. The three of them stayed in the same off-campus rental dormitory for the entirety of their undergraduate years, and that’s what brought forth their friendship. They cried through every exam together, sneaked in to every party together, went to every attraction or competition that the university participates in together, even spent one vacation abroad together, and a whole lot more. They even got matching rastaclat bracelets as a testimony to their friendship.

The three of them all fell in love in college, that’s true. Within themselves as well, that’s also true. But it’s Mark and Jeno who caught the luck of falling in love with each other, and Renjun is the odd one out, the one left behind. Renjun should’ve known that there’s something going on between the two of them when Mark comes to him for advice on how to ask out Jeno. The signs have always been there—Mark laughing at Jeno’s jokes, regardless if they’re funny or not, Jeno being the first one Mark will ask how’s their day to, Mark volunteering to accompany Jeno wherever the other would declare he goes. Maybe Renjun is too hopeful (foolish) to the point where he ignored the signs, but he supposed he should’ve seen it coming.

Mark and Jeno seem to have this sort of understanding where they hide their displays of affection from Renjun just so he doesn’t feel left out. However, with them doing just that, Renjun feels even more distant. He can still see them bumping their knees under the table, whispering to each other when they think Renjun’s earphones are loud enough for him not to hear, intertwining their fingers behind their backs, and it’s during those moments that Renjun realizes that even though in that moment there’s three of them, in Mark and Jeno’s world, there’s only two.

That’s what stops Renjun from seeking magic in pages. He resorts to focusing on his mathematics degree, even pursuing masters and working as a university instructor so he can pay for his post graduate classes. Nevertheless, he made his life about numbers and logic and started establishing the rest of it with such. He had been foolish to let himself hope that the magic books always made him feel would be passed onto him.

What good is believing in magic when Mark Lee didn’t, doesn’t, and will _never_ love him back?

  
  
  


“Long time no see,” Donghyuck greets him, eyebrows raised as he grins at Renjun’s approaching figure. “I didn’t know you’ll be back in this part of the library.”

Renjun shrugs. “There’s a sale. I’m not letting it pass.”

That’s only half the truth. Renjun _did_ come to the library for the sale, but not for the section Donghyuck manages. Books are necessary for someone like Renjun who’s working part time as a university instructor so that he can fund his masterals. Books, unfortunately, are also expensive. That’s why when the _Deja Vu Book House_ announced that they would be having a book sale, Renjun was quick to take the opportunity.

Mark and Jeno as well, apparently.

After a course of group chat messages and scheduled meet ups and bus rides where Renjun did his best to preoccupy himself, they ended up in the science and math textbook section to find themselves some reference materials. That led to them reminiscing about college days because there was a point in their sophomore life where _Deja Vu Book House_ was their frequent hang out spot. A course of memories runs through the conversations they had while picking out textbooks, and Renjun knows that there’s a hidden story in all of those that only Mark and Jeno can understand.

He’s over Mark now. He already came in terms with the fact that he’s not the best friend Mark Lee would be falling for, but sometimes he can’t help but wonder if it was indeed _him._ However, that thought always leads him to think of Jeno, and he loves Jeno so much that he wouldn’t wish it upon him to experience whatever turmoil Renjun is feeling right now, so he immediately shakes the thought off.

At least, he tries. Before the sudden unwelcoming nostalgia fills his mind with such thoughts, he excuses himself from them as they start to look for a vacant desk, claiming to look for a book to borrow in the fiction section.

Now, it’s been years since Renjun last read a fictional novel; but right now, he needs to get away for awhile, and so he resorts to the thing that has given him comfort, solace, and escape ever since the start.

Apparently, the fiction section also has a sale. There are a few selected titles that you can buy at a discounted price, ones that feel too personal to be left at a public shelf. Donghyuck has always been the part-time worker assigned to this part of the library, so seeing him again gives Renjun a familiar feeling.

“Well then,” Donghyuck gestures to the pile. “I hope you find something you like.”

Renjun isn’t really looking for anything in particular. However, he does have spare change in his pocket and the opportunity of a discounted novel doesn’t sound so bad. He briefly scans the summaries at the back, trying to find something that can at least tickle his interest a little bit.

It’s the sixth book he checks out that looks the most promising. _Rise Above Tides,_ the title reads. It’s about a group of pirates who all came together after running away from their previous lives to find a certain treasure that can grant them a large sum of rare diamonds.

“This one,” he tells Donghyuck, handing his payment as well.

Donghyuck makes an impressive look at the book. “Good choice.”

“Have you read it?”

“No. It just looks good,” Donghyuck grins, now putting the book in a paper bag and handing it to Renjun. “There you go.”

When Renjun comes to where Mark and Jeno are seated, for the first time in years, he tunes himself out and gets lost in a novel.  
  


The sky is tinted orange when they decide to leave the library, but not head home yet. It’s Jeno who proposes the idea of strolling in the university for a with the intent of relaxing—no work, no studies, just hanging out. It’s Renjun who proposes the little forest in the middle of the academic oval to be the place to do just that, and both of his friends agree. That’s how they end up hanging out by one of the wooden benches and tables under the shade of the tall, sturdy trees whose foliage shield them from the afternoon heat.

“I might really do it,” Mark tells them. “I mean, I could use the extra money.”

“Yeah, but isn’t masters class going to be a problem? Schedules and all, plus finals will come soon,” Renjun explains. “But I do understand why you would consider it.”

“I agree,” Jeno says. Once again, he pretends he doesn’t see how their fingers linked under the table. “Did you know that the landlady of my apartment increased the rent again? It’s because the lots surrounding the place became more expensive, so I guess my apartment got affected.”

“That’s life,” Renjun sighs, remembering his own rent due in a few more days. “God, adulting sucks.”

“Adulting is hard,” Mark muses. “But it doesn’t really suck all the time. Sometimes, it’s fun being independent.”

 _“Sometimes,”_ Jeno repeats. “Because there are certainly times where I still crave my mother’s breakfast and dinner meals. I should pay a visit sometime.”

“Time flies so fast…” Renjun murmurs, looking at the scenery that is in front of him. “We used to be the ones jogging around that oval in an attempt to get our minds distracted with the score results.”

Mark laughs fondly. “Or maybe the ones rushing to one of the food stalls to grab a quick bite before the next class starts.”

“Or the ones falling asleep on these benches while trying to cram readings,” Jeno adds. “But still, I’m glad that we’re here now.”

Renjun and Mark both nod. “Next thing you know,” Mark remarks. “Someone from our batch is already getting married.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be prepared for that, I believe,” Renjun says. “But maybe, our seniors will get married by then. My bets are on the Jaehyun-Sicheng couple.”

“Really?” Jeno chuckles. “I personally think it would be the Johnny-Taeil couple.”

“How funny would it be if it’s Lucas hyung and Jungwoo hyung who got married first?” Mark jokes.

“That’s unlikely,” Jeno says. “Ah… we’re really at _that_ point in life.”

Renjun smiles. “We’re getting older every day,” he then glances at the trees. “I just hope they’re still standing even when those times come.”

His heart aches at his own words. Just recently, a proposition of taking away the little forest around the academic oval is being approved by the university board. Replacing the trees they will cut will be a shopping center that will serve as an inner mall on campus. Renjun, Jeno, Mark, and a lot more of the faculty and student body think it’s _extremely_ ridiculous.

Mark places a comforting hand on Renjun’s shoulder. “It will be. We’re going to change their minds in the meeting.”

It’s times like these where Renjun remembers how much he liked— _loved_ Mark. Sometimes, he looks at him and Renjun either wants to laugh at his past self for ever liking one of his best friends or send a silent message to his past self that it’s not his fault Mark Lee is amazing. Now, Renjun is most certainly not in love with Mark Lee anymore, but he still gets reminded of the time he was every time Mark does things like these. It’s too far behind that Renjun doesn’t even know how it actually started; it was probably the fact that Mark was the one who added him to his and Jeno’s small friend group, or the fact that there’s a studio that only he and Mark go to, or because Renjun is too invested in the thought of magic that he searches for it in the first chance that looks remotely close to making him feel that.

He shakes his head slightly before he can dwell on those thoughts more.

Thankfully, Jeno shifts the topic. “Hey, I saw this cool movie trailer a while ago, wait let me get my phone so I can show you guys…”

They all move closer to Jeno to get a glimpse of the movie he’s talking about. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that the ambiance is tugging at Renjun’s heartstrings in an aching way. He doesn’t know why.

He pulls his messenger bag close to him, feels the outline of the novel he just bought a while ago, and decides that once he goes home, just like what his past self would do every time he picks up a book, he’ll escape.

❦  
 **as a pirate**

> _Chaeyeon doesn’t falter._
> 
> _“You do know,” Sakura hisses. “That your father sacrificed a lot, including his own life, just to spare yours?”_
> 
> _“Sakura,” Jaemin warns sternly._
> 
> _“He was the best captain this ship has ever had!” Sakura proceeds to yell. “We fought waves for you. Made trades with the demons for you. Ventured six different islands for you. And you say you want to give up? You’re not the only one who’s suffering here, princess, but you’re the only one who hasn’t picked herself up yet.”_

Renjun grabs his pencil and underlines the last line, putting a tab on the page beside it.

> _Chaeyeon swears she could hear the breeze laughing at her. She supposes it must be the ghosts of the life she left behind catching up to her, all bearing the same face that terrorizes her up until now—the one she sees in the mirror._

Renjun closes the book, a soft yawn escaping his lips. For someone who has lost touch with reading novels for a long time, he sure read a lot of pages in one sitting. The world building was something he immediately got lost into, diving headfirst into the imaginary vision he created in his head. It’s been a while since he read something as interesting as pirates, after all.

He glances at the wall clock. _11:48 am._ He still has to draft a short quiz for his students tomorrow. He packs up his annotation kit and places it on top of the living room table. No matter how much he wants to know what happens next, real life always has to come first.

However, when he’s about to close the novel, he notices something strange.

The next page is blank.

Renjun then proceeds to check the pages after that. They’re all blank.

“Wha—“ but before he can even finish that word, he hears a crash from his fireplace.

He picks up the first thing his hand can reach, which turns out to be the desk lamp that his Mom put there for decoration. Renjun carefully makes his way to the fireplace and his heart starts to race once he makes out a figure lying beside it. Before he can observe it properly, the figure moves, making wincing sounds. Renjun’s eyes grow wide in horror once he realizes that there’s another person inside his room.

When Renjun and the strange person make eye contact, as if on cue, they both scream.

“Who are you?!” Renjun yells, attempting to point the desk lamp threateningly at the stranger. “Why are you in my house?”

The stranger gets up, looking offended. “I could ask the same to _you_ , who the hell are you?!”

“I asked first,” Renjun insists. “I swear, if you don’t tell me who you are now and what you’re doing here, I’ll call the police—“

“Na Jaemin!” The stranger yells, raising his hands up. “One of the privateers of the Jade Ship, Na Jaemin!”

Renjun freezes in his spot. “What did you say?”

The stranger—Jaemin—rolls his eyes. “I told you, I’m Na Jaemin.”

“Na Jaemin...” Renjun repeats, glancing at the book he left open by the coffee table. Blank pages still greet him. He turns back to Jaemin. “How did you get here?”

“Do I look like I have an idea?” Jaemin yells back. “Where the hell am I anyway?”

“You’re in my house,” Renjun hisses. “And you’re going to leave it.”

“Wha—“

Renjun finally lunges towards him and pushes the guy out to the front door, using his desk lamp to do all the poking. Ignoring the protests of the stranger, Renjun closes the door on him and locks him outside.

Renjun places his lamp back on the desk and heads to his bed.

“It’s just a dream,” he tells himself, willing himself to breathe. “There is _no_ way a book character is alive inside my house.”

  
  


There is a book character alive inside his house.

Renjun wakes up the next day, coming in terms with himself that he dreamed of a _nightmare_ last night. However, on his way to the kitchen, he almost stumbles when he sees the same person he kicked out last night lying on the couch.

_What the actual fuck._

This time, he grabs the broom resting near the wall. Bracing himself, he uses the stick to poke on the guy. 

“Wake up!” He yells.

The guy—Jaemin, apparently—rolls over and falls to the floor with a thud, a groan escaping his lips as he wakes up.

“How did you get in?” Renjun yells again once Jaemin starts to sit up.

“Wha—“ Jaemin scans the surroundings, looking surprised himself. “I swear I slept outside.”

“You’re lying,” Renjun now has the stick end of the broom pointed at Jaemin. “How did you get in?”

“I told you,” Jaemin sighs exasperatedly. “I didn’t get in. I slept on your doorstep last night and I just woke up here. I have no idea how.”

Renjun doesn’t sound convinced. Once again, he pushes Jaemin outside.

“Ow— be careful—“

He doesn’t hear the end of that sentence because he closes the door on Jaemin again, locking him out once more.

“I’m still dreaming,” Renjun says, ignoring the persistent knocking on the other side of his front door. “I’m still dreaming.”

However, as he’s making breakfast in the kitchen, he hears shuffling in the living room.

When he checks it out, Jaemin is inside again.

The guy raises his arms up in surrender. “I have no idea.”

Renjun pushes him outside again, adding another lock to the door.

As he prepares to draft the quiz he has to make for his students, he hears another set of footsteps from the living room once again.

“Look!” Jaemin immediately says once Renjun marches towards him. “I swear, I don’t know why I keep appearing here—“

Renjun kicks him out again.

It happened several times, and it's always the same. Jaemin will magically appear in Renjun's living room, Renjun forces him outside (although in the last few times, Jaemin just willingly walks out), Renjun either adds another lock to the door or closes a window, and then the cycle repeats. When Jaemin shows up on Renjun’s couch again after Renjun finishes up his quiz draft, he’s too tired to push Jaemin away again.

“Before you kick me out again,” Jaemin tries to explain. “I swear, I have _no_ idea why this is happening. I don’t even know where I am! I’m supposed to be in the ship with Captain Chaeyeon and the rest of the crew...”

Renjun lets him ramble, not really registering anything he’s saying. It all feels strange—there’s a person standing inside his room that perfectly matches the description of that of the book character he just read about last night. Even the baggy trousers and the loose white polo described on the book is spot on.

While Jaemin is still rambling, Renjun’s eyes land on the open book still on the table. The page on the left is filled with words while the one on the right is blank. 

An idea forms in Renjun’s head and he immediately groans. He must be losing his mind for thinking that way, but he doesn’t know what else to do; this weird stranger—book character—keeps coming back to his house. 

“...and then Sakura and Chaeyeon are fighting and—“ 

Renjun holds his hand up and Jaemin stops talking, confused. Renjun grabs his coat, his phone, and the book on his table before motioning for Jaemin to follow him. “Let’s go.”

Jaemin frowns. “Are you going to kick me out again?”

“No,” Renjun sighs, unlocking the now four padlocks on his door. “We’re going to find out why the fuck are you here.”

The first thing Renjun concludes about the guy is that he’s extremely jumpy.

Sure, he’s also a book character from the very novel Renjun is clutching to his chest, but he really can’t ignore the fact that Jaemin is _jumpy._

The guy attracts too much attention in the bus. Renjun has to hold him still in the bus ride just so he doesn’t impulsively jump out of the window. Every time they pass by something, Jaemin gets surprised and starts to make this weird noise of amazement.

Meanwhile, beside him, Renjun begs the ground to swallow him whole.

When they finally arrive at their destination, Renjun practically drags Jaemin to the counter. Thankfully, there’s not many people in that part of the library. There’s just Donghyuck fumbling on his phone by the counter, waiting for a customer.

When Renjun approaches him and starts to ramble about the hectic night he had, the first thing Donghyuck does is laugh and ask him to wait for a while. He then leaves Renjun and a still bewildered Jaemin in the lobby, ignoring Renjun’s persistent yells.

He returns with two more staff in tow—one of them introduces himself as Doyoung, and the other one, Ten. Renjun doesn’t say it aloud, but he really couldn’t care less about who they are. All he cares about is holding on to the last thread of sanity he has left before he ultimately loses his mind.

“This is amazing,” Doyoung says, observing Jaemin. He really matches the description perfectly.”

“I agree,” Ten adds. He’s currently reading the novel from where Jaemin is supposed to be from. “It really _is_ him.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jaemin interjects for the first time. “What do you mean?”

“It means you’re a book character, pretty boy,” Donghyuck chirps. He takes the book from Ten and hands it to Jaemin. Renjun watches as the guy starts to read a few passages and his face quickly morphs into horror. He stifles a laugh.

Jaemin looks distressed. “Wh— How do I get back?”

“Yeah, Hyuck,” Renjun turns to Donghyuck sharply. “How does he go back?”

Renjun is far too confused to understand why Donghyuck, Doyoung and Ten don’t seem to be baffled at all with the current events. But then again, he supposes Jaemin’s presence is far more confusing than anything else. 

Donghyuck turns to Ten who only shrugs. “I don’t know.”

Jaemin heaves a sigh. Renjun lets out a groan.

“Look,” Doyoung tells them. “There must be a reason why Jaemin is... here. Maybe you’re meant to help him out, Renjun.”

“What?!” Renjun exclaims the same time Jaemin asks, “That’s your name?”

“Ah, Huang Renjun,” Donghyuck tsks. “You really dragged a stranger all the way here without even introducing yourself.”

Jaemin nods while pouting. “He also kicked me out more than ten times.”

Renjun rolls his eyes. “He crashed into my fireplace! What am I supposed to do? Invite him for some tea?”

“According to the book,” Ten interjects. “He prefers bitter coffee.”

“Not the point!” Renjun almost screeches. “Plus, there’s this... strange thing that happens where every time I kick him out, he just returns to the house!”

“Hmm...” Doyoung hums. “And how long does it take for him to return?”

“I don’t know. Thirty minutes? An hour? Bottomline is he always returns—“

“Yeah, but the thing is,” Doyoung interrupts him. “He’s not returning to your house right now, isn’t he?”

Renjun freezes.

Ten claps in delight. “Exactly!”

“You know what I think?” Donghyuck says, like this all just some sort of guessing game. He taps on the book Jaemin is holding. “I think he goes wherever that book is. Is this book inside your house a while ago?”

Renjun frowns at the implication. “Yes.”

“Well, that explains it,” Jaemin murmurs.

“Now if you want to drag him out of the house,” Ten jokes. “You have to throw the book with him.”

Doyoung elbows him. “Ten!”

“What?”

“Don’t give him ideas.”

“Anyway,” Renjun says, finally seeing a way out of this tunnel. “Sounds tragic. But, he’s now your problem. I’ll leave the book to you.”

Donghyuck frowns at him. “What?”

“You bought this book, though,” Ten points out. 

“Yeah, well I’ll return it,” Renjun huffs. “No offense, but I’m not really in the place where I have to deal with some... strange man coming out of a book.”

“Renjun...” Doyoung trails.

“Seriously, I have enough problems on my plate already,” Renjun sighs exasperatedly. “Last night was already pretty stressful. I don’t want more of it.”

As he turns around to walk away, he catches sight of Jaemin, looking dejected as he stares at the ground. Something inside Renjun stirs, and he suddenly feels guilty.

Sure, Renjun is confused, but if he puts himself in Jaemin’s shoes, he’s more than that—he’s lost. Being abruptly pulled from your life and transported to a foreign world—Renjun would definitely lose his mind.

He internally groans. There he is, feeling _empathy_ for a fictional character. That in itself sounds ridiculous.

Still, the guilt (and a little bit of sense of responsibility) gets the better part of Renjun. He sighs before saying, “Okay fine, I guess he can stay for a few days.”

Jaemin’s face immediately lights up, a big, bright smile now directed towards Renjun. “Thank you!”

“Look at you,” Donghyuck coos. “You do have a heart after all.”

Renjun ignores Donghyuck and takes the book from Jaemin. He matches the stare the other guy is giving him, but Renjun’s gaze has nothing gentle in it. “Make sure you’ll return soon.”

Jaemin beams at him. “Aye, captain!”

Donghyuck wheezes at that.

Jaemin calls Renjun “Captain” after that, dramatically saying that he owes his life to him and will do whatever it takes to help Renjun out during his stay. At first, it’s really annoying and he doesn’t know what to do with the guy, but after they got home from the encounter with Donghyuck and the others, Renjun immediately proceeds to cook dinner and while he’s doing so, he sees Jaemin in the living room, sweeping the floor and tidying up the area.

He lets the guy stay in the guest room, giving him a list of things that he can do inside the house to preoccupy himself with while Renjun is working or studying. Thankfully, it’s the students’ semester break so he doesn’t have to go to campus just yet. The outcome is always the same when Renjun steps out of his room—the guy is done with his tasks and is either watching whatever’s on the television or staring at a canned tuna on Renjun’s shelf.

It takes a sale in the public market to bring them out of the house.

Renjun supposes it’s in a pirate’s nature to be naturally adventurous.

To be fair, he’s not entirely keen on leaving Jaemin alone in his apartment, so he supposes it’s only right that he lets the… _pirate_ tag along. The guy is enthusiastic, anyway—making speeches about expeditions and courageous journeys as they venture into the public market.

In order for Jaemin to stop hogging Renjun’s grocery list constantly, he gives him a few cash and writes a separate one on a spare tissue paper for Jaemin to preoccupy himself with. Renjun listed items that aren’t important yet, just so he doesn’t have to double check everything that Jaemin will buy.

“Right away, Captain Huang!” Jaemin grins. “I shall find you the best marshmallow trade!”

Renjun sighs as Jaemin disappears into the crowd. He feels the outline of the novel through his messenger bag. So long as he has that, even if Jaemin gets lost by chance, he’ll still somehow find his way to Renjun.

He goes through every stall, buying the most necessary products first. His forehead creases every time he glances at the calculator on his phone and sees the cumulative of his expenses increase. It’s not like he wanted to have another lodger in the apartment, especially when said lodger can’t even pay half the rent or supplies. Life must just hate Renjun like that.

It’s in the rice stall that he encounters his first crisis.

“A kilo of hulled rice grains?” The vendor then looks through her list. “That will be 2000 won.”

Renjun blinks at her. “What?”

“2000 won,” the lady simply says, clicking her tongue and checking the rest of her products. “Take it or leave it.”

Renjun thinks back to when he, Mark and Jeno would be the ones doing public market shopping together. Mark has a way with words—he’s soft and gentle and extremely convincing to the point where the salespeople will sell the products to Mark at a discounted price. Renjun can’t blame them—back then, he was sure he’d offer the world on a silver platter for free if Mark Lee smiled at him.

However, unlike Mark, Renjun doesn’t have the charm. He also doesn’t have the heart to negotiate, thinking about how the people selling these products need the money and that’s why they give them away for a high price. Renjun knows he’s in no position to feel for them that way when he himself needs the money, but that’s just the way he is.

After the lady sighs impatiently for the umpteenth time, Renjun asks, “Can you give it to me for 1600 won? That’s above base price.”

The lady doesn’t even hesitate when she shakes her head. “1800 won. That’s as far as we can go.”

Renjun is already mourning the loss of his money when he suddenly hears an all too familiar voice as he reaches for his wallet.

“Captain Huang!”

 _Oh boy,_ Renjun thinks miserably.

Jaemin strides towards him confidently, a wide grin resting on his face as he hugs a tote bag in his chest, bearing the items of the products Renjun made him buy.

“Are you done with the list?” Renjun asks him.

Jaemin beams proudly. “Definitely. What’s going on here?”

Before Renjun can answer, the ever impatient saleslady beats him to it. “1800 won for one kilogram of hulled rice grains. I can’t make it any lower.”

Renjun sighs in defeat, already taking the bills out of his wallet. However, a hand grabs on his wrist, stopping him from doing so. He turns to look at Jaemin who’s staring at the saleslady with a mildly intimidating gaze. Renjun is pretty sure that if he’s at the receiving end of that look, he would shrink.

The lady raises an eyebrow at him, but Jaemin's gaze remains undeterred. "1800 won? Isn't that a bit too high?"

"The original is 2000 won," the lady explains, visibly getting irritated. Renjun can feel Jaemin's grip on his wrist tightening. "It's hard to get rice hulls nowadays."

Jaemin tilts his head to the side. "I don't think so."

He lets go of Renjun's wrists and digs through the tote bag he's carrying. Once he pulls his hand out, Renjun sees a paper bag of what smells like a snack. He recognizes the smell to be _rice balls._

"After I finished with the things I had to buy," Jaemin says in a voice that holds so much authority that it almost makes Renjun stumble. "I still had enough money to treat us to some snacks. There's a street food corner near the poultry area, did you know that? And there's a _lot_ of rice cakes and rice breads and all their variations. I know for a fact that with weather like this," he gestures to the sky. "Rice is abundant."

Renjun's jaw slightly drops because of Jaemin's words. Ever since Jaemin came out of the book, all Renjun thought of him was that he was ridiculous _._ However, seeing the unmistakable glint in his eyes as he stares down the startled saleslady, Renjun starts to think otherwise.

 _The seven seas fear me,_ Jaemin's character in the book once said. _The six islands won't dare to challenge me._

It's only at that moment that Renjun understands.

"Now," Jaemin begins again, turning to Renjun. "Did you negotiate a price before?"

Renjun blinks. "1600 won."

Jaemin turns back to the saleslady. "1500 won."

The lady frowns. "That's too cheap."

Jaemin laughs as he shakes his head. "No, that's _not_ cheap. Judging by the quality of your product and the current circumstances, I'd say the base price is around 1100 won. Interest wise, your selling price should be 1300 won. Now, 1500 won isn't cheap. It's more than enough. 1800 won, however, is just flat out expensive and unfair."

Several people are starting to look at the stall. Renjun uncomfortably scratches the back of his neck, unsure of what to do. The saleslady purses her lips, as if contemplating what to say next. Jaemin, however, remains standing tall in all his confidence and glory, gaze still as daunting as before.

After a few seconds, the lady finally sighs and looks at Renjun. "1600."

Jaemin frowns. "1500."

"Fine," the lady gives in, swatting the stares of the people passing by. "One kilogram of hulled rice grains for 1500 won."

Renjun quickly makes the transaction, all the while muttering small 'thank you's and 'sorry's to the saleslady. Probably feeling guilty with Renjun's small apologies, the saleslady mutters her 'sorry's as well. After securing his rice grains, Renjun quickly motions for Jaemin to walk with him as they head to the next stall.

"Where to next, captain?" Jaemin asks excitedly as if he didn't just terrorize someone a few seconds ago.

Renjun just looks at him dumbfoundedly. "I— uh—"

"You're welcome, by the way!" Jaemin chirps, hand digging to the rice ball paper bag again. He offers one to Renjun. "Ah, that felt so nice! It's been a while since I had to make a trade."

"A trade," Renjun repeats mindlessly, staring at the rice ball he just accepted. “Is that what you do?”

“Of course,” Jaemin grins. “Not only that, but it’s also what I do _best._ If you want to keep traveling and exploring, you need to learn how to take control.” 

Renjun nods slowly. “I do remember your character being notoriously dangerous when it comes to… negotiations.”

“Like I said, it’s what I do best,” Jaemin repeats. And then, “Do you always just let people get away with things like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Captain,” Jaemin says with so much ease that Renjun almost feels like he’s worthy of it. “You were about to give in to her bargain. Her _ridiculous_ bargain.”

Renjun sighs. “Look, I just gave her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she needed the money…”

Jaemin _tsks._ “Kindness and smartness come hand in hand. If you only have smartness, you’re empty. If you only have kindness, you’re stupid.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. _Oh.”_

“How did you get the rice balls, anyway?” Renjun shifts the topic. “I only gave you enough money to buy what’s on the list.”

Jaemin chuckles. “I told you, I’m the best with bargaining. I got all your items at a discounted price, so I still have some spare. When you know how to play the trade, you get to decide the stakes.”

Renjun would be lying if he said that he isn’t impressed. A part of him feels embarrassed for purposely giving Jaemin the list and the money thinking that the guy will mess up, only for Jaemin to return with a bag of complete items from the list as well as a good amount of rice balls.

“Whatever,” Renjun mutters, refusing to meet Jaemin’s eye as he bites on his snack. And then, he adds in a low whisper, “Thanks.”

He can’t see it, but he knows Jaemin is grinning.

Throughout the rest of the shopping, Jaemin does all the talking and dealing and all Renjun has to do is pull the amount Jaemin tells him from his wallet and then lead them to the stall for the next item on his list. After their trip, the sum of Renjun’s expenses shown in his calculator is a lot lower than the tentative amount he had in his head before he started shopping. 

Renjun realizes that it’s in today’s course of events that he really _sees_ the Jaemin he’s read about in the book. Charming, daunting, intimidating, confident, and powerful. There's a challenge in his eyes every time they make a transaction, even if it’s just as simple as a carton of milk. Still, it fascinates Renjun. He’s read the descriptions on the book, of course, but seeing Jaemin in action firsthand leads Renjun to the conclusion that the words on the pages barely describe half of the wonder of a character— _person_ Jaemin is.

When they get home, Renjun cooks the canned tuna Jaemin has been eyeing since the first day. Jaemin is about to tease him about it but Renjun only grumbles a small ‘ _shut up’._

Jaemin follows it up with a bright “You’re the best, Captain.”

  
  


After a few days, he talks to Jaemin about getting himself a job until he finishes whatever mission he has to do and even offers a suggestion.

“Lifeguard duty?” Jaemin reads the words on the website out loud. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Make sure no one drowns,” Renjun briefly explains. “They’ll probably orient you when you start working. Let’s visit the resort on Wednesday.”

_Buzz._

Jaemin squints at the screen of Renjun’s phone resting on the table. “You have a message from a _Mark.”_

Renjun immediately picks it up.

 **[ mark** _2:08 PM |_ hey junnie! you don’t have sunday classes, right? jen and i are thinking of going there. he’s gonna bring beer hahaha just hanging out before we have to go back to checking test papers… you still have your playing cards, right? **]**

Knowing his friends, they would let themselves inside the apartment even though Renjun didn’t respond, so long as they’re sure that Renjun is there. And conveniently for them, Renjun has tweeted something about lounging in his apartment all day long just a few hours ago so he knows that his friends would make themselves welcome anytime soon.

He glances at Jaemin. That’s another problem he has to deal with.

Jaemin tilts his head to the side. “What?”

“My friends are coming over, that’s what,” Renjun explains. “And I can’t really explain why there is a book character staying inside my house without sounding like I have gone mad.”

At this point, maybe he _has_ gone mad already.

Jaemin only chuckles. “Don’t worry about me, captain. I am good at pretending. I once disguised myself as one of the noble dukes of the cohort just so I can get a hold of the golden penchant.”

“I know,” Renjun said, recalling the scene. “I read that.”

After a series of Jaemin’s rejected ideas (all courtesy of Renjun), they finally settle on making Jaemin a high school friend of Renjun who needs a place to stay while in Seoul.

It seems to work, because when Jeno and Mark arrive, they immediately buy it, although not without Mark saying “You should’ve told us you had a guest.”

“Eh…” Renjun trails. “He doesn’t mind.”

However, during their fifth round of gin rummy, Jaemin shows that he _actually_ minds, but not because there are other people in the house, but because according to him, all of them _suck_ at gin rummy.

“Jaemin,” Renjun hisses under his breath once Jaemin points out Jeno’s “mistake” for the umpteenth time now. “Tone it down.”

“I can’t help it!” Jaemin hisses back. “I’ve been watching you guys play since the start and you all have been doing it wrong.”

Before Renjun can retort anything, Mark interjects. “What makes you say that we’ve been doing it wrong?”

Jeno purses his lips as he shuffles the cards. Apparently, he and Jaemin aren’t as quiet as he thought. 

Jaemin, however, confidently answers Mark. “You’re all too scared of breaking patterns that you compromise the overall quality of your cards,” he takes the deck from Jeno, draws thirteen cards and rearranges them. “See what I did here? I did not combine the two spades because with the value of these cards, it’s easier to discard them than wait for a complete pattern for them.”

He proceeds to rearrange them more, explaining how Jeno guards his aces too much, and how Mark discards his royal cards a lot, and how Renjun doesn’t know when to initiate a bet fight and when not to.

“Wow,” Mark acknowledges, looking at the recent pattern Jaemin created with the cards. “I’m impressed. Although, I’d like to see these cards in action first.”

“Me too,” Jeno adds.

Jaemin immediately turns to Jaemin. “Can I play in your stead?”

Renjun shrugs, getting up from his seat. “Go ahead. But please, I’m begging you, don’t lose too much of my money.”

“You act as if you don’t know who I am,” Jaemin tells him, winking after all that. And then, he turns to an amused Mark. “Shall we start?”

Renjun shouldn’t have underestimated Jaemin in the first place. He should've known that letting Jaemin, a supposed pirate who thrives in the wonders of treasures and adventures and the gambles in between, play is putting him in his own element.

In a matter of games, Jaemin is winning. Not once has he ever lost. It even came down to the point where the coons Mark and Jeno initially had on the table are now lost to Jaemin that they had to get their wallets to get more money to play with. In the end, Jaemin always gets them.

Renjun is just dumbstruck.

“Okay, that’s my last game,” Jeno says while laughing. “I don’t want to lose any more money.”

“Same,” Mark then lets out a whistle as he turns to Jaemin. “You’re _amazing._ Where did you learn how to play?”

“From where I came from,” Jaemin replies casually as he counts all his winnings. 

“You know what I’m thinking?” Mark suddenly says. “I think you can win the casino jackpot.”

Renjun’s head snaps. “What?”

Jeno beams. “Hey, that’s right!”

Jaemin sounds interested. “Casino jackpot?”

“Yeah!” Jeno nods enthusiastically. “It’s quite pricey to get in it and play, but with your skills, you can get your money back tenfold or maybe even more. You should definitely try it, you’ll win.”

“Focusing on the first part of what you said,” Renjun interrupts. “It’s quite pricey.”

“I mean,” Mark shrugs. “It’s Jaemin’s money, not yours.”

_Oh, if they only knew._

“I’d love to do that,” Jaemin grins. “I think I’ll give it a shot.”

Renjun’s eyes go wide as saucers while Jeno and Mark are saying encouraging phrases in the background. He whispers to Jaemin’s ear subtly, “We can’t risk the money.”

“I mean,” Jaemin whispers back to him. “Don’t you think… that can be _it?_ The one I have to do so I can go back.”

Now that Jaemin mentions it, it _does_ make sense. Renjun _really_ needs to get rid of him as soon as possible, and from what he witnessed in the games Jaemin participated in, it seemed like he would succeed.

After a few more seconds, he gives in and nods. “Fine, I’ll take you to the casino,” Renjun grumbles.

Jaemin grins at him. “I knew I could count on you, Captain.”

  
  
  


The first time Renjun saw Jaemin _this_ excited was a few days back, when they went to the public market. Second time was yesterday, when he was playing card games with Renjun, Mark, and Jeno.

Renjun sees Jaemin’s excitement the third time around on their way to the casino. There’s hunger in the way Jaemin looks at the place, like he’s about to make the entire thing his own.

“I’ll pick you up later after my class,” Renjun tells him. “Please don’t… risk a lot of money. We can’t afford to lose any more of it.”

“I got you,” Jaemin confidently says with a grin. “Don’t worry. I’m not called the most notorious trader of the six islands for nothing.”

Renjun can only hope.

Classes went by as usual. Renjun is once again reminded of the time when he’s the one sitting on the armchairs solving integrals for hours. Now, he’s the one behind the desk, answering students’ questions and helping them out. It reminds him once again of his decision to establish his life around postulates and logic—and how ironic it is that he’s dealing with something the exact opposite of them.

When Renjun goes to the casino, he notices that the amount of cars parked before has increased. If he can recall right, people shouldn’t be coming in at 3 pm, at least not most of them. It’s even weirder that when he enters the casino, most of the people inside are in one table only.

“Sir,” a staff member calls out to him. “You can’t enter without buying chips.”

“Oh, I’m just here to fetch my… friend.” The word feels foreign on his lips.

“Please wait by the lobby instead.”

Before the guard ushers him outside, he turns around just in time for one of the people hanging by the occupied table to move and he’s able to catch a glimpse of Jaemin. It’s both the calmest and most confident he’s seen Jaemin, and in that moment, he feels just like the character in the book—only this time, realer.

At the lobby, the guard asks him, “Who are you here for?”

“For Na Jaemin,” Renjun replies, although he’s not entirely sure if people know Jaemin’s name inside.

Surprisingly the guard does. “Ah, that’s good then. I thought your companion would be one of the people trying to challenge him.”

“Would that be so bad?”

“Just… unlucky,” the guard tells him wistfully. “Your friend is _really_ good with all the games. No one has ever beaten him yet. He always takes the grand pot. I think you’re both going to go home big today.”

“Really?”

_“Really.”_

The people following Jaemin with their eyes as he walks out of the casino proper and to the lobby just confirms what the guard told Renjun. He flashes him a triumphant smile. “We’re going to go back here tomorrow to collect my winnings.”

Renjun stands up from the couch, squinting at all the people staring at Jaemin. “Can’t we… collect it now?”

Jaemin shakes his head. “It’s too many. They’re going to have to process it all first. They also said I should ready my bank account, which I guess works the same as the vaults we have back from where I am.”

 _Too many._ Renjun can’t even imagine how much Jaemin won.

Jaemin doesn’t say the amount, mostly because Renjun doesn’t ask. When he finally does, it’s during the bus ride home.

“Fifty million won,” he replies so casually.

Renjun falls off his seat. Jaemin laughs at him first before helping him up.

  
  
  


Because getting Jaemin to open a bank account would cause too much work and confusion, they deposit his winnings on Renjun’s bank account instead. Jaemin doesn’t seem fazed about the sudden increase of digits on the overall balance, but Renjun looks like he’s about to lose his shit any time soon.

“You’re practically rich, Captain,” Jaemin teases as they head home. “That’s enough compensation for my stay, isn’t it?”

Renjun grumbles. “I’m just cutting down your share of the expenses fairly. The rest of the money is yours—we’re just using my account.”

“Well, for the meantime, yes,” Jaemin says. “But once I return, I won’t be making use of it so you can spend as much as you want with it.”

Renjun almost forgot that Jaemin has to go back and leave the real world.

Because after that, they use Jaemin’s money to buy him a new phone as well as some clothes and a change of rugs and bed sheets and curtains just to accommodate him properly in the apartment and it’s only then that Renjun realizes that with what they’re doing now, it almost seems like the only place Jaemin will be coming back to is Renjun’s home.

  
  
  


Truth be told, Renjun doesn’t know why Jaemin is still here. The sudden fifty million won in Renjun’s bank account is a lot more unbelievable than the fact that a pirate from a novel has wedged his way into Renjun’s life. They didn’t even go through with the supposed lifeguard job for Jaemin.

Although, when mail comes, Renjun is forced to think about another new problem altogether.

The words _RENT_ in big bold letters greet him in the morning.

“What’s that?” Jaemin asks him once he sees Renjun just standing by the front porch, staring at the envelope.

Renjun sighs. “Exactly what it says.”

Jaemin squints to get a better look. “Rent?”

“My supposed payment for staying in the apartment.”

That seems to surprise Jaemin. “You don’t own this?!”

Renjun manages to chuckle at that. “No. I can’t afford a house all on my own. Maybe when I get a stable job after my masters degree.”

“Huh...” Jaemin says, taking the envelope. He takes the paper from inside and Renjun can’t help but laugh at the surprised look on Jaemin’s face once he reads the total. “It’s _this_ expensive?”

“Well,” Renjun gestures to the house. “It’s a nicer place than a few, I suppose. But yeah, we’ll split this month’s rent. I’ll take some from your... money.”

Jaemin blocks Renjun from entering the apartment, looking deep in thought.

Annoyance starts to get to Renjun. “Let me in, Jaemin.”

“What if...” Jaemin trails. “You just let me pay for this month’s rent. I have a lot of money to spare, anyway.”

That _does_ make Renjun think. With fifty million won at Jaemin’s disposal, Renjun’s rent doesn’t even reach ten percent of Jaemin’s total savings. 

However, Renjun also thinks about the novel from where Jaemin came from. In the story, Jaemin and the rest of the crew, despite the amount of wealth that they get. will _never_ spend a coin without careful deliberation about fairness. And now, here is Jaemin, willing to spend part of his fortune without a second thought.

Jaemin rolls his eyes, like he knows what Renjun is thinking. “Look, it’s only fair. You’ve gone through so much trouble for me. Let me at least pay your rent this month.”

He has a point. Renjun just sighs and agrees. “Okay, pay the rent once the landlord arrives. Now, can I go in?”

“Aye!” Jaemin teases, gesturing to the front door. “After you, Captain Huang.”

Renjun rolls his eyes at the gesture but he can’t fight off the smile forming on his lips. Jaemin tries to tease him by wrapping his arm around Renjun’s shoulder, but Renjun quickly removes it and scowls at him, making Jaemin laugh nevertheless.

Somehow, it all feels too… _easy_.

Renjun chooses not to dwell much on it.  
  


When the landlord arrives, Renjun lets Jaemin make the bank transfer through his phone. He stayed in the kitchen to catch up on some practice problem sets while Jaemin was making the transaction.

“Captain,” Jaemin calls from the front porch. “We need your digital signature.”

Renjun leaves his handouts and heads to where Mr. Zhang, the landlord, and Jaemin are standing.

“I entered the amount already,” Jaemin tells him, looking jumpy. “Can you handle it from here? I _really_ need to go to the bathroom.”

Renjun laughs as he nods, the gesture of affirmation enough for Jaemin to sprint towards where the bathroom is. 

He then turns to Mr. Zhang. “Where do I sign?”

“Here,” Mr. Zhang points at the bottom of the document on his tablet screen, and Renjun immediately writes his name and signature. “Yeah, that’s about everything.”

“Is everything good?” Renjun asks again.

Mr. Zhang nods. “See you next year, Renjun.”

_Wait, what?_

“Mr. Zhang,” Renjun calls to him. “Don’t you mean next month?”

The landlord raises an eyebrow. “I _did_ mean next year. You should know this; you just paid for the rent for the next twelve months.”

That makes Renjun freeze on his spot.

“Well, I’ll get going now.” Mr. Zhang tells him when Renjun, still in surprise, does not respond. 

Just as Mr. Zhang drives away, Jaemin comes out of the bathroom and joins Renjun on the front porch. He follows Mr. Zhang’s car with his eyes as he says, “He’s gone already?”

“Jaemin,” Renjun finally finds his voice. “How much did you pay?”

Jaemin seems to understand what Renjun is implying because he starts laughing nervously. “Does it matter? I told you I’d pay your rent—“

“You told me you’d pay my rent for this month,” Renjun interrupts sternly. “Not for the entire year.”

Jaemin sighs. “Look, why can’t you just accept it? I told you, I won’t even be using the money. I’ll return to the book soon and even if I take everything with me, it won’t really serve me much because our currency runs on different stones.”

“Yeah, I know that, but...” Renjun is grateful, he really is, but there’s a part of him that can’t separate the Jaemin he’s talking to right now to the Jaemin he read about just a few days ago, mainly because they aren’t two different people anyway. There’s danger in getting indebted to someone like Jaemin, and even though Renjun will most likely not see Jaemin anymore once he returns, that doesn’t mean that the pirate’s curse will not linger upon him.

Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him. “But...?”

“But, I don’t know how to repay you...” Renjun finally admits truthfully. “The salary I’m getting from the university is only enough to pay for my masters and to get me by in the daily.”

After he says that, a flock of birds fly above them, chirping as if they have something to say about Renjun’s recent statement.

At first, Jaemin doesn't do anything. He just looks at Renjun, even tilts his head a little bit as if trying to see Renjun in a different light. “Captain,” Jaemin finally says. “You owe me nothing. I paid for your rent because I want to, okay? Don’t get too worked up about it. Relax.”

Not really having anything to counter Jaemin’s statement, Renjun sighs and nods. After that, he says in a low voice, “Thank you.”

Out of all the things he shouted about today, it’s the one he whispers that holds the most meaning and emotion. Judging from the fond look on Jaemin’s face, he understands as well.

“We’re a team, Captain,” Jaemin whispers back, playing with Renjun’s hair. Renjun doesn’t swat his hand away this time. “We’re a team.”

  
  
  


The disappearance happens like this.

It takes place after the night where Jaemin starts teaching Renjun a card game good for two people and Renjun starts teaching Jaemin how online shopping works. Throughout the night, they talk about Jaemin’s woes in his ship and Renjun’s woes in the workplace and the dog owned by the neighbor across them and the fact that Renjun can enjoy this apartment without worrying about rent for the next twelve months and a whole lot more. 

It all sounds like it’s another step to adjustment of Jaemin being there that Renjun almost forgot about the part where he has to return.

He’s reminded of it when he wakes up the next morning and proceeds to prepare two mugs of coffee. When he calls Jaemin and no one answers, he goes to the guestroom with the full intent of dragging Jaemin out of the bed to get breakfast.

However, there’s no Jaemin to drag.

Renjun searched for the boy in the room as well as in the house. Hell, he even checked the porch and the backyard. But no matter how hard he searched, Jaemin is nowhere to be found.

That is, if you’re not going to count the novel.

When Renjun comes back inside, he sees the book lying on top of the coffee table, looking _nothing_ suspicious and yet it somehow gives Renjun the crazy feeling that it’s calling to him. He picks it up and goes to the part he left of, the one whose next pages are blank.

Only this time, it’s no longer blank. The pages are filled with words, ready to be read again.

> _Chaeyeon knows they’re right. All of them. It’s only a matter of time before Sakura, dear Sakura who doesn’t have a bad bone in her body, snaps._
> 
> _She should’ve seen it coming._
> 
> _Jaemin is the one who pulls Sakura away from Chaeyeon’s reach. “Come on, noona.”_

Renjun laughs to himself. “There you are...” he whispers to the page.

Well, isn’t this what’s supposed to happen, anyway? Thinking about their previous conclusion, Renjun wonders if he really had to help Jaemin so that he can go back to his world, or if they got it all reversed—that maybe, Jaemin has to help Renjun in order for him to go back.

Whatever the reason may be, Jaemin is back. It all still feels surreal.

Renjun takes the book with him to the kitchen table, grabs his annotation pack near the desk, and settles on reading it while drinking coffee.

As he does so, Renjun manages to finish the two mugs he prepared. One is bitter, one is sweet, but in the end, the taste blends in his mouth perfectly.

❦  
 **as a vampire**

  
  


Renjun often wonders if it’s all just a dream—but then he sees his bank account with _extra_ extra money and the unfamiliar cell phone lying on the guest room bed and he consoles himself that he hasn’t gone crazy yet.

Still, it all feels so weird. He knows that Jaemin not being in this world is the _normal_ thing, but it all feels unusual.

“I kind of want to play another card game,” Jeno asks them as they make their way to the _Deja Vu Book House_ to buy a few more textbooks. “Getting tired of gin rummy. Do you guys know how to play bridge?”

“Don’t you need four players for that?” Mark asks.

Jeno pouts. “You’re right.”

Renjun shrugs. “Too bad we don’t have Jaemin anymore. That would’ve made us four.”

Mark furrows his eyebrows. “Jaemin?”

“Who’s that?” Jeno adds.

Renjun is about to hit them in their arms for pretending to forget, but he holds himself back once he realizes that they sounded serious. If you’re going to look at it, it makes sense that they forget about Jaemin.

What doesn’t make sense is that Renjun still remembers him.

He feigns a laugh. “Nothing, I’m just rambling things. It’s about that book I read—still not over it.”

He scoffs at himself for the irony of his words. Mark and Jeno seem to buy it.

Once they’re scanning the shelves, Renjun observes Mark and Jeno from a distance. He sees Mark subtly intertwining his pinky with Jeno’s as they browse the books. A bit of his thumb plays with the rastaclat on Jeno’s wrist. Renjun instinctively reaches to feel his own.

Mark is the one who spots him at the other end of the aisle. He lets go of Jeno’s finger and Renjun pretends to not notice, carefully leaving the aisle to go to the other shelves.

Eventually, he reaches the fiction section. Renjun lets his finger rest on the spines of the books, waiting if one of them will call to him. He settles on a thick paperback with the title _Everfrost Academy_ which is supposedly about vampires and a weird modern vampire school. He takes it with him to the counter, thinking that maybe he can read something this time without weird characters coming to life.

“Oh, you’re borrowing another novel,” Donghyuck remarks. He then looks for someone behind Renjun. “Did he go back already?”

Renjun, who’s fiddling with the rastaclat on his hand, stops his movements. “What?”

Donghyuck gives him a deadpan stare. “Jaemin. Did he go back yet?”

Renjun _is_ going crazy.

He clears his throat and replies, “Y—yeah, he did.”

Donghyuck shrugs, handing him the paper bag with the novel. “Have fun reading.”

Renjun decides he’s going to distract himself with the novel to ignore these thoughts.

  
  
  


Not that Renjun can actually forget about the mystery that is Na Jaemin, but he just got another reminder of him on the night after his advanced coding class. Wanting to get rid of the scripts and numbers and symbols floating inside his head, Renjun picks up the new book he borrowed from the library.

> _Six midnights, the warlock said. Six midnights before it all comes to an end. Seulgi starts to pace back and forth inside her office, trying to squeeze a solution out of her brain. A flash of Wendy’s taunting face appears in her mind for a split second, causing her to shake her head and groan._
> 
> _She is most certainly not going to Wendy for help._
> 
> _A knock on the door interrupts her thoughts._
> 
> _“Come in,” she calls._
> 
> _The door opens and reveals Sooyoung’s little brother, looking at Seulgi with bright wondering eyes._
> 
> _“Hi noona!” The boy greets._
> 
> _Seulgi can’t help but smile. “Hi, Jaemin.”_

Renjun falls off his seat.

He lets the words sink in before he continues to read.

> _Jaemin smiles back at her, forehead creasing a little bit with worry. “Sooyoung noona asked me to check on you. She said if she’s the one who’ll fetch you, you might end up punching her.”_
> 
> _Seulgi lets out a laugh. “She’s not wrong.”_

Renjun doesn’t understand why Jaemin is in another book. Still, that doesn’t stop him from reading. Like the previous novel, he isn’t the main character. He’s always there within the setting, but he only gets the spotlight occasionally. Renjun sees a few similarities from his previous character, but then again, it must be because he’s _still_ the same Jaemin.

And just like the previous novel, the last quarter of the book is blank. The story abruptly ends when Seulgi and Wendy sneak out of Everfrost Academy to meet the ominous stranger who sent the telegram. After that, it’s all just blank pages.

As if on cue, he hears a crash on his porch.

Renjun immediately rushes outside to see what— _who_ crashed. He has an idea already, and that leads him to thinking that maybe he’s gone mad.

However, the sight on his front porch proves that he hasn’t gone mad yet.

Because just like what he predicted, a vampire Jaemin is on the ground, wincing in pain due to the impact of the crash.

When he sees Renjun, he smiles, fangs gleaming under the night light. “It’s good to see you again, Mr. Huang.”

  
  


“You got cockier this time,” Renjun tells him as he hands him the phone Jaemin left behind before. “What’s your character again?”

Jaemin bares his fangs as he accepts the phone. “I’m a vampire. A cool one.”

“Still not the main character?”

Jaemin frowns. “That doesn’t make me less cooler!” 

Renjun only laughs as he takes his place on the couch, pulling out the lesson plan he’s supposed to be working on. 

“Please don’t kick me out again,” Jaemin blurts out.

Renjun snickers. “I’m not heartless.”

“Look... in my defense, I really don’t know why I’m here again,” Jaemin adds.

“Wait,” Renjun says as he stops scribbling on his notepad. “Do you remember your past life?”

Jaemin blinks at him. “What?”

“The one where you’re a pirate,” Renjun clarifies. “You know, with the crew and the Jade Ship and the Captain Chaeyeon and all that...”

“Huh...” Jaemin fiddles with his phone. “I actually... do and don’t at the same time.”

“Geez, thanks for that answer.”

“No, seriously!” Jaemin adds. “It’s like I’m aware I have a past life, but I don’t really remember everything about it. It’s like waking up in this new world one day and I already have a life planned for me and those memories just start to appear in my dreams.”

There’s a tapping on the table that comes from Renjun’s pencil. He purses his lips in contemplation before asking, “Then how come you remember me?”

Jaemin blinks at that, unable to answer.

“How come you remember your... adventure here when you were a pirate?” Renjun adds.

“To be honest, I don’t know,” Jaemin responds. “It’s like I’m aware that I’m book traveling, and that I also have something going on in between. I guess maybe because this is the real world that I’m unable to forget it.”

Renjun nods.

“And therefore, unable to forget you.”

He feels his heart skip a little at that. _What the fuck?_

“Anyway,” Renjun quickly shifts the topic. “We gotta figure out what you have to do so you can return. In the meantime, if you need something, you can just tell me since your money’s in my bank account.”

Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him. “You kept all of it?”

“Yeah,” Renjun shrugs, trying to act cool about it. He pointedly ignores Jaemin’s eyes as he says, “It’s your money, after all.”

There’s a long pause before Jaemin speaks again. “You didn’t even know I was coming back. Also, I recall you saying that my money is my supposed compensation for you taking me in.”

 _It’s a reminder that you were real,_ Renjun thinks, but he doesn’t say it. “It’s somehow still yours,” Renjun repeats instead.

He doesn’t have to look at Jaemin to know that the guy is probably smiling—grin deadlier but still so, _so_ familiar. “Hmm… if you put it that way…” Renjun feels a swift breeze and then soon enough, he can hear Jaemin’s voice retreating towards the guest room like it’s his own. “I’m going to think of new things to buy with our money.”

Renjun is about to retort something but the words die on his tongue as the words Jaemin mentioned start to sink in. When he turns to look at Jaemin, the other guy has already closed the door of the guest room.

 _Our money,_ Jaemin said.

Renjun shakes his head and goes back to his lesson plans.  
  


Vampire Jaemin is a bit more difficult to take care of than pirate Jaemin. The guy can only eat animal blood and can’t even step out into the sun without his skin getting burnt. 

That being said, Renjun has his fair share of suffering just to cater Jaemin’s current needs. A good example of such is when the uncle selling poultry in the public market eyed him incredulously when Renjun asked for several pints of meat blood. He also had to give up one of his favorite sweaters to Jaemin so that the guy can still stroll outside, although he's asleep most mornings.

Jaemin and Renjun’s sleeping schedules almost never matched. While Jaemin is sleeping soundly in the guest room, Renjun is either on campus or hanging out with Jeno and Mark or doing chores inside the apartment. When it’s Renjun’s turn to sleep, Jaemin would either transform into his bat form to fly in the night or binge read one of the dramas on the Netflix account he bought for Renjun.

Thankfully, Jaemin’s past character is very wise with money, and Jaemin doesn’t need a job to pay his compensation for crashing into Renjun’s life again. There’s only so little jobs a vampire can apply for, anyway. In fact, Jaemin has made a lot of money in a span of a few weeks than Renjun ever did for months.

When Renjun tells Donghyuck about this (and really, Renjun isn’t surprised at all that they aren’t baffled about Jaemin’s reappearance), the guy just grins as he says, “So it’s like having an immortal sugar daddy.”

He gets an arm beating from Renjun after that.

On a more positive note (not really), Renjun doesn’t have to make up an identity for Jaemin because he can’t meet people anyway, given his current state. That also means even though Jaemin is there in the real world, most of the time, Renjun is alone.

Well, not _really_ alone. He’s with Jeno and Mark most of the time, given that they both teach in the same department and take the same post-graduate course. Although most of the time, he gets a feeling that he’s holding them back again. Every time they try to do anything remotely romantic and they’ll spot Renjun from a distance, they’ll quickly halt it. Renjun appreciates that they’re trying to make him feel included, but sometimes, with what they’re doing, it feels the other way around.

It’s like Renjun isn’t meant to see that part of them.

He justifies to himself that friends don’t necessarily have to be open with each other, that it’s okay that Jeno and Mark are hiding their gestures, and it’s okay that Renjun is keeping it in.

He justifies all that to himself, even though most of the time, it doesn’t sound convincing.

Thankfully, whenever he gets home, distraction comes in the form of a two hundred year old vampire greeting him “Welcome Home!” and pestering him to watch a drama on the television with him.

“You’re annoying,” Renjun mutters under his breath as he takes out his supplies for studying, but he still chooses to sit on the couch beside Jaemin.

“I know,” Jaemin chirps, ruffling Renjun’s hair again.

When Jaemin is finally focused on the television screen, Renjun allows himself to smile.

  
  
  


Renjun takes the long way home that night.

By that, he tells the bus to drop him off on the first stop, and for the rest of the journey, he’ll just walk. Jaemin even texted him a few times out of worry and Renjun just gave him the same response that he’s okay and he’ll be home soon.

Nothing grand in particular happened that day. It’s just that he’s been craving some tteokbokki, and knowing that Jaemin can survive one night with a canned preservative dinner, he originally planned on asking Jeno and Mark to accompany him to the local street food place but he overheard the two of them planning to drop by the jewelry shop together after their classes end, so why should Renjun interrupt that? He takes the craving and aching with him on the way home.

His spotify’s sixth daily mix, the one with the slow songs and ballads, is his companion as he ventures through the night. With his thoughts constantly traveling to some distant place, it was a mindless travel. 

Jaemin looks worried when Renjun arrives home, something not even a reassuring smile from the latter can brush off.

“You just woke up?” Renjun asks him.

Jaemin frowns, ignoring Renjun’s question. “Are you okay?”

His thoughts drift back to his internal turmoil with where he stands in his, Jeno’s, and Mark’s friendship. Renjun heaves a sigh as he instinctively reaches for the rastaclat on his wrist to get some sort of comfort.

Only, there’s no material to feel.

Alarmed, Renjun quickly looks at his hand and his heart instantly drops once he sees that the friendship bracelet that is supposed a testament of everything Jeno, Mark and him went through is no longer there.

“Renjun—“

“The bracelet,” Renjun cries frantically, immediately scanning the floor. “I lost the bracelet.”

Jaemin joins him in looking for it. “The one that looks like a braided rope?”

“Yes,” Renjun confirms, his heartbeat increasing in speed with every second that he doesn’t find the bracelet. “It’s— fuck, I must have dropped it on the way home.”

Jaemin turns to him. “In the bus?”

Renjun shakes his head, already putting his shoes back on and grabbing his coat. The sky is dark now; it would be difficult to look for something under it, but he isn’t going to rest until he retrieves that bracelet. “No, I didn’t take the bus,” he says hastily. “I walked all the way from the stop near the shanghai place, I— fuck, I’m sorry, I have to go out again, I have to find—“

“It’s okay,” Jaemin immediately grabs his arms and keeps him from stumbling. Renjun wants to do nothing else but cry. “I’ll come with you. It’s nighttime anyway. We’ll find it.”

Renjun almost chokes on his next words. “I can’t lose that, Jaemin.”

There’s conviction in Jaemin’s gaze that reflects in his voice. “You won’t. We’ll make sure of it.”

  
  
  


“Alright, let’s get this straight,” Jeno had declared. “The one who loses his bracelet will be kicked out of the group. Friendship over. You hear me?”

Renjun knows those words are a joke and that Jeno didn’t mean them in the slightest. However, he still holds that bracelet dear to his heart as much as his friendship with Jeno and Mark, and through that bracelet, he always reminds himself that they’re _three_ and that he’s part of that _three,_ that even if Jeno and Mark start to build a life of their own together, they will still be _three._

Without the bracelet, Renjun feels like he’s drifting away.

Jaemin is probably way ahead of him right now. Sometime during their search, the vampire transformed into a bad and flew into the night, probably to travel faster and therefore find the bracelet quicker. From what he read in the book, Renjun knows that Jaemin can also see things from a far distance even in the dark because of the nature of his character. If you look at the situation, he should just leave it to Jaemin.

But the thing is, he _can’t._ If he were left behind, he would be pacing restlessly around the apartment, crying his eyes out in frustration. That’s why he’s searching every side walk, every grass field, every bus stop in vain. He can already feel the tears threatening to fall as he searched through high and low for that damned bracelet.

It’s at a now empty park where Renjun feels his knees give up and inevitably, he stops. He kneels on the ground, curling his fists as he wills himself to breathe. He starts to laugh hollowly—he’s getting emotional over a cheap bracelet he can easily replace. The entire situation looks ridiculous.

Before his thoughts can even drift into the darker pits of his mind, he hears someone land in front of him. When he looks up, he’s met by the vast nighttime both in the sky and in Jaemin’s eyes. He extends his outstretched palm to Renjun, and resting on top of it is none other than the rastaclat he’s been looking for all night long.

“It was by the waiting shed,” Jaemin tells him. “You must have dropped it when you got off the bus.”

Renjun only blinks at him, slowly reaching for the bracelet. Jaemin then squats to the ground to meet his level and puts the bracelet on Renjun himself. Even until Jaemin is tying the knot, Renjun remains silent.

Jaemin tilts his head to the side after he successfully makes a strong lock for the bracelet. “There, that should do the trick,” he then smiles at Renjun. “You won’t lose it anymore.”

Renjun stares at the bracelet and then at Jaemin and then back at the bracelet again and that’s when the tears start to fall. He brings his hand close to his lips as he lets the sobs out, as if whispering silent messages to his wrist. In the middle of an empty park, under the uncertain blanket of stars, he cries.

And it’s only a matter of seconds before Jaemin moves closer to him and collects him in his arms.

The embrace is cold, courtesy of Jaemin being a hundred year old dead vampire or so, but even then, and yet it’s Renjun’s source of warmth that night. 

“It’s just—“ he tries to justify in between sobs. “This— this bracelet, it’s something Jeno and Mark and I have, and it’s so stupid, so _so_ stupid that—“

“It’s not stupid,” Jaemin interjects quietly.

“—that I’m getting worked up but it’s just... ever since they started dating, I feel like I’m growing distant with them, I feel like I’m slipping away from them, and I feel like I’m losing them, and—“

Renjun coughs, Jaemin immediately gently rubbing his back.

“And...” Renjun continues after catching his breath. “I... It’s stupid, but this bracelet makes me believe that I’m still part of the friend group, that I still have them and they still have me, and... and...”

Renjun loses all his words. After that, it’s just a series of sobs. Jaemin just holds him there, letting him cry his heart out.

A few minutes later, Renjun hastily dries his tears and weakly tells Jaemin that they should head home. This time, they take the bus. All throughout the ride, Renjun is silent.

When they reach home, Renjun mumbles a repetitive “thank you” and “sorry” to Jaemin.

Jaemin just ruffles his hair and says that it’s okay (and jokingly adds that Renjun should bring him extra blood bags, which makes Renjun laugh even just a little bit).

The morning after, Jaemin doesn’t bring it up. They just fall back in routine, and for that, Renjun is grateful.

It’s one thing to study about infinite series, but it’s an entirely different thing to teach about it. After his class, several students have kept him behind to ask more questions and clarifications that he resorts to shooting Jaemin with a quick text that he’ll get home a little later than usual.

After a series of convergence and divergence tests, Renjun finally packs up his things, tidies up his office, signs out of the logbook, and starts the commute home. 

As he leans his head against the window of the bus, he feels the weight of the bracelet circling his wrist. Perhaps it’s the events of last night that lead him to think that it’s particularly heavy today; memories of him holding back his tears and Jaemin constantly reassuring him that they’ll find the bracelet until they do surge through his mind.

Albeit sadly, he smiles. It’s amazing how much he’s willing to go through for a piece of metal—but then again, it’s an extension of his and Jeno and Mark’s friendship, and without a doubt, Renjun knew he would go through extreme measures for them as well.

Once he reaches the apartment, he expects to see a curled up Jaemin by the couch or an upside down Jaemin chilling by the ceiling.

He doesn’t expect to see no sign of Jaemin at all.

The guy isn’t in the kitchen or in the bathrooms or even the corners of the walls. When Renjun checks the guest room, he doesn’t find the sweater he lent to Jaemin either, which means that the guy went outside.

He sends another text.

 **[ me** _5:19 PM |_ where’d u go? **]**

The reply comes fast.

 **[ jaemin** _5:19 PM |_ eek you’re home already? hahahahaha i’ll be there in thirty minutes, i’ll fly after this **]**

 **[ me** _5:19 PM |_ stay safe **]**

Renjun finishes microwaving two bowls of casserole when Jaemin arrives. From the looks of disheveled hair, the guy really _did_ fly.

“What’d you buy?” Renjun asks, glancing at the paper bag Jaemin is holding.

“Oh!” Jaemin beams brightly. “I got something for you. And me. Well, us.”

 _Us._ Renjun hasn’t even noticed that he and Jaemin are now closed and connected enough to be referred to together in the same inclusive word.

Jaemin pulls out two boxes from the bag, handing one to Renjun who eyes it suspiciously. 

“Open it!” Jaemin says excitedly, and Renjun does so.

His breath gets caught in his throat as he takes in the sight of what’s inside. It’s a simple thin strip of metal whose dimensions are enough to enclose Renjun’s wrist. He picks it up, observing how the material shines under the fluorescent light on his ceiling, now reflecting Jaemin’s toothy smile on it.

“Uh… Okay, this is going to sound cheesy,” Jaemin begins. “But I thought about how much you valued friendship bracelets so I got a couple for the both of us. Just a little thank you for accommodating me and everything—”

“You didn’t have to,” Renjun says, but he’s already smiling and trying it on. “It’s pretty.”

“Of course, I won’t settle for anything less than pretty!” Jaemin laughs, taking his own bracelet and putting it on his wrist. After that, he brings his arm beside Renjun’s so that they can take in the sight of their bracelets together. “There! Doesn’t that look nice, Mr. Huang?”

“You know, every time you call me Mr. Huang, I feel ten times older than my actual age.”

“Pretty sure I’m still older than you if that’s the case. How old am I again? 200? 250?”

They talk about bracelets and Jaemin’s memories impending boredom throughout his immortal life, and then eat the casserole while watching whatever episode Jaemin is on with the drama he’s binging, and it’s all too happy and bright that Renjun suddenly gets a forlorn feeling that it’s all going _too well._ However, he decides to relish the moment instead, spending the night under the guidance of the stars with his darling friend.

  
  
  


Jaemin leaves for the second time around. Even though it’s just as sudden as the first one, Renjun has seen it coming. 

There’s no one in the guest room the next morning, but traces of a person who’s once there filled the room. As Renjun leans on the doorway, his eyes travel to the two books resting on top of the coffee table.

Somehow, he gets a feeling that soon, another novel will join the pile.

He gets a feeling that soon, another character will come back to life.

When he voices his thoughts to Donghyuck one time in the library, the other guy only smiles.

> _Seulgi and Wendy arrive a few minutes before the third chime of the bell. Jaemin is the one who opens the door for them, a breath of relief immediately escaping his lips as he tackles both of them in a hug._
> 
> _“Ow, ow, ow” Wendy winces while chuckling. She carefully removes Jaemin’s arm around her neck and places it by her waist instead. “The metal on your wrist is clashing with my cheeks.”_
> 
> _“Sorry,” Jaemin apologizes, glancing at his bracelet with a fond smile before pulling them both into a tighter embrace._

“Sir Renjun,” Nayoung, one of his students, calls. “Can you check my solution in number five? I used integration by parts but I still can’t get the answer, it keeps repeating…”

Renjun drops the book for a while and takes her notebook. 

As he scans her solution, she speaks again. “You’re smiling a lot today!”

Renjun only chuckles. “The book I’m reading is too good. Anyway, look at your solution here; when you get the exponential of this variable…”

  
  
  
  
  
  


❦  
 **as a rebel**

  
  
  


It doesn’t really sink in with Renjun that he’s already in the age bracket where you can get married until Jungwoo waltzes in the faculty lobby waving his arm around like a pageant queen just to showcase the diamond on his finger.

“Congratulations!” Johnny, one of the faculty members, shouts. “What’d you bribe Lucas with?”

“Oh come on, love,” Taeil says as he waltzes beside Johnny. “We all know Jungwoo can murder Jaehyun in front of Lucas' eyes and Lucas would still drop down on one knee."

“Hey!” Jungwoo laughs. “I would _never_ murder Jaehyun hyung—at least, not in front of Lucas.”

“Congratulations, hyung,” Renjun greets happily.

“Are we invited to the wedding?” Jeno jokes.

“Yes of course, you’re all invited!” Jungwoo beams. “I require the whole world to witness me professing my love to the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Enough with the sappy shit!” Johnny jokes. Renjun and the rest of the lobby laughs.

“So that’s why you’re coming in here even though you don’t have a class today,” Taeil chuckles. “To broadcast that you’re getting married.”

Jungwoo nods, ruffling Mark’s hair as he passes by him. _“That,_ and also, I’m serious when I say I’m inviting you all. I’ll send out proper physical invitations of course, but I’m telling you all ahead so you can clear your schedules."

“When is it?” Mark asks.

“October 9! I’m not kidding, mark your calendars already!”

Johnny then proceeds to joke about finding a way to not make it, but he and the rest of the lobby reassures Jungwoo that they will be there. After a few more minutes of chatter, lunch break finally ends and they all have to go back to their respective classes.

“Meeting on Saturday, by the way!” Renjun reminds them before they leave. “Don’t forget, we’re objecting to the proposal of cutting down the trees along the academic oval.”

“Well,” Mark approaches him once people are returning to their classes and offices, Jeno trailing a bit behind. “I can’t believe one of us is already getting married.”

Jeno shrugs. “Honestly, I thought it would be Johnny hyung and Taeil hyung who’ll get wed first.”

“I thought the same,” Renjun says, packing up his take-out lunch. “I hope the meeting goes well. It’s really ridiculous that they want to build a shopping center in the oval, anyway. What benefit would it bring the students when we have stalls all around the campus?”

“I agree,” Jeno says. “Don’t worry, they’ll come to their senses. A lot of us are against the project, so there’s a chance they’ll hear us out.”

“Yeah, I think the same too,” Mark adds.

Renjun sighs. “I really hope so. _God,_ why are we doing this to the environment?”

“We’ll find a way,” Mark reassures him. “So, all our classes end at three today, right? Do any of you have masterals later?”

“Nope.”

“Not me. Wanna hang out?” That’s Jeno.

It’s only then that Renjun realizes that Jeno and Mark are subtly holding each other’s hands. Although neither of them voice it out, they’re doing their best not to make Renjun feel like he’s being left out. It reminds him of the night where he searched through high and low for the friendship bracelet they had since college.

And the memory reminds him of the other boy in it, altogether.

“Ramyeon?” Mark suggests.

“Actually,” Renjun says. “Can we drop by _Deja Vu_ for a while? And then, we can get ramyeon.”

That’s exactly what they did after classes ended. Donghyuck only grins at him teasingly as Renjun proceeds to check out a book from the historical fiction shelf that called out to him the most.

 _“No One Left Behind,”_ Donghyuck reads the title out loud before he hands the book to Renjun. “That’s a strong title. Do you think he’s in there?”

Renjun knows Donghyuck is teasing him, so he doesn’t give any response and only waves at him goodbye.

(But to answer the question, Renjun doesn’t really know—although, he hopes that Jaemin _is_ in there.)

  
  
  


Renjun starts reading the novel while waiting for Jeno and Mark to finish their ramyeon.

“Glad to see you back with the books again,” Jeno remarks. “What’s it about?”

“A revolution, I believe,” Renjun says. “You know, one of those dystopian novels. There’s a system and it’s flawed and does more harm than good and we have to overthrow it or something."

Mark stares at Renjun for a few lingering seconds before he breaks into a grin. “It’s nice to see you in your element again, Renjun.”

“Yeah,” Jeno agrees. “I mean, we all know you love math just as much, but when you read and you talk about reading, you look really... at place.”

Renjun mumbles a lighthearted “shut up” and uses the book to cover his blush from their sight, making the couple chuckle.

> _“Hyung,” There’s warning in Wonwoo’s voice. “You can’t go in there. It’s a suicide mission.”_
> 
> _“Well then what am I supposed to do?” Irritation drips from Jeonghan’s tone. “Am I supposed to just sit down? Let someone else take care of it?”_
> 
> _“You’re the general’s son,” Seokmin pleads a little more desperately. “You can’t risk—“_
> 
> _“It’s exactly because I’m the general’s son that I have to do this,” Jeonghan snaps, making his way to the door before Wonwoo or Seokmin can call after him._
> 
> _The moment he steps outside, he sees one of the Patriot’s healers making his way to the room, probably to tend to Seokmin’s wounds. The healer bows as a greeting. “Good evening, Lord Jeonghan.”_
> 
> _Jeonghan nods his head. “Good evening, Jaemin.”_

“You’re smiling,” Jeno remarks. “Is it _that_ good?”

> _“Everything okay, sir?” Jaemin asks him._
> 
> _“Yes, yes,” Jeonghan knows he doesn’t sound convincing, but he’s grateful Jaemin doesn’t point it out. “How’s the budget? Are we still short?”_
> 
> _“It’s all going steady, sir,” Jaemin beams. “Seungkwan hyung managed to secure a chest from the underground.”_
> 
> _Jeonghan sighs in relief, the first one he’s had in a while. “That’s good news. I don’t want any of us having to give up our keepsakes.”_
> 
> _As if on instinct, Jaemin glances at the silver strip circling his wrist. He smiles. “Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.”_

“Yeah,” Renjun replies mindlessly, still reading and smiling.

  
  
  


He reads even after he bid Jeno and Mark goodbye. He reads even on the bus ride on the way to his apartment. He reads even though he hasn’t changed his clothes yet—he just makes himself comfortable on the couch and reads.

He reads until the next pages are blank and a crash is heard near his kitchen.

“Ow,” someone, a familiar someone, winces in pain. “Why do I always have to land in an almost dangerous position?”

Renjun laughs as he rushes towards Jaemin to help him up. “Welcome back.”

“Wow,” Jaemin breathes out, steadying himself. “So I guess this is a thing now.”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Renjun says, guiding him to the dining table before going through the refrigerator. “Iced tea?”

  
  
  


Apparently, Jaemin is a rebel. Though, he’s not on the fighting side. He’s one of the lead healers who tend to the wounded.

Still, that doesn’t change the fact that this Jaemin is _extremely_ outspoken. Instead of the usual drama he was obsessed with when he was a pirate and a vampire, he watches the news channels instead, voicing out his opinions rather loudly as if he’s screaming on the television.

“That is injustice!” He once yelled when the news flashed a report about what seemed like a faulty anti-terrorism bill. “If the Revolution is here, all six flags will unite and tear that government palace down if that’s what it takes!”

It’s something Renjun could get used to.

Jaemin is watching a documentary about the illegal cutting and deforestation on one of the Mountain Ranges when Renjun joins him in the yelling-at-the-television party.

“You’re all cruel!” Renjun shouts, almost throwing the popcorn to the innocent appliance. “You all don’t _care_ about the planet, and it’s only a matter of time before this planet neglects you too and you’re all left to die!”

“Speak your piece!” Jaemin agrees. “Although, this is the first time I’ve seen you be so... devoted to the opposition.”

Renjun sighs as he slumps back on the couch. “In the university, there’s this small forest of some sorts around the academic oval. It’s been there ever since the university is built. They want to cut it down to put a mini shopping mall.”

Jaemin frowns. “What’s the purpose?”

“Capitalism, what else?” Renjun snorts. “There are already a lot of local and small businesses all over campus that caters to every student’s and staff’s needs. I don’t know why they’re still pushing the damned mall when they can just help out the other businesses.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that.”

“I know,” Renjun sighs. “We requested a meeting with the board of sponsors. Me, Jeno, Mark and more professors are going to formally oppose the proposition. I just hope they listen to us.”

“They have to,” Jaemin says with indignation. “You’re in the right. They’re compromising the environment for their selfish needs.”

“Exactly!” Renjun almost yells. “It’s _so_ frustrating. Some people tend to ignore the cruelties that nature is receiving lately because they think it won’t affect them but what they don’t know is that harming nature also means harming _us_ sooner or later. They would be kind to anything or anyone _but_ the environment.”

Jaemin pats his back. “I understand.”

 _“God,_ I hope they do, too.”

“They have to,” Jaemin repeats firmly. “Also, if you could use an extra voice, I can come with you if you want. To the meeting, I mean. I can pretend to be an alumni.”

Renjun relaxes a little bit, closing his eyes as he nods. “Yeah, let’s knock some sense into their heads together.”

“Together,” Jaemin repeats. “Together.”

He says all that in a manner that tugs at Renjun’s heartstrings.

  
  
  


There are times where doing things together are just inevitably not enough. Renjun is grateful that Jaemin is there with him as he tries to talk some reason to the board, but the board is just as stubborn. They have their mind made up already, and no matter how much Renjun and the others beg, they still refuse to listen.

Sometime during the meeting, Jaemin takes Renjun’s hand in his, rubbing small circles to help ease Renjun’s feeling. It’s a wonder how Jaemin managed to keep his composure throughout the entire thing, given his habits when it comes to fighting for what’s right.

The meeting ends with a schedule of when the cutting down of trees will happen. Renjun and the others leave the room crestfallen, every single one of them attempting to console each other and themselves. 

Even during the ride home, Renjun is silently beating himself up. If it weren’t for Jaemin still holding his hand, who knows how many windows or lampposts he could’ve punched.

It’s dinnertime already when they reach the apartment. Jaemin is the one who cooks that time. Thankfully, the author of the book imprinted some cooking skills with him this time.

Renjun is still sulking, feeling defeated. Jaemin tries to cheer him up by shaping the contents of Renjun’s plate into a smiley face. 

“Hey,” Jaemin attempts to console him. “You did your best.”

Renjun shakes his head. “It’s not enough.”

“It is.”

“But they’re still going through with it,” Renjun feels tears starting to form in his eyes. “And I know there must be something I can do, but that would mean putting my job and studies on the line and it’s all very frustrating.”

Jaemin remains silent and just lets Renjun ramble on.

“I’d climb up that tree and guard it for days if I could, but I need the job,” Renjun almost chokes on his words. “It’s hard to fight for what is right when you’re also trying to survive.”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything after that and just keeps Renjun company. Renjun appreciates that.

At least there’s one thing about today that he can be grateful for.

  
  
  


Renjun has no intention of waking up early today. In fact, he doesn’t want to wake up _at all_ today. He cannot stomach getting on with his day knowing that, in some way, he failed to protect the environment.

If it weren’t for the several missed calls that serve as his alarm that morning, he wouldn’t even get up from his bed.

“What?” Renjun groans as he picks up the next call, still bundled up in his covers.

 _“Jun,”_ he recognizes the voice to be Jeno’s. _“You have to get here on campus right now.”_

Renjun sighs. “I don’t want to, Jen. I don’t want to see… whatever it is they’re about to do to the trees.”

He hears distressed chatter in the background.

“This is about the tree cutting, right?” Renjun asks again.

 _“Yeah,”_ Jeno replies. _“But, they can’t cut the trees, Renjun. They’re here, but they’re not doing it.”_

That catches Renjun’s attention. He sits up from his bed. “Really? I mean—that’s great! But why?”

 _“Jaemin,”_ Jeno says, and Renjun freezes in his spot. _“He’s here. He climbed up on one of the trees last night and refuses to go down. Saying that if they’re going to cut down the trees, they’re going to have to cut him down with them as well.”_

Renjun is quick to scramble out of his bed, change into some decent clothes, and head to the university.

He knew Jaemin’s current character is a man of strong beliefs, so he’s not surprised that Jaemin decided to take action about the situation. However, he didn’t really think that the guy would go as far as guarding the trees overnight.

When Renjun arrives in the middle of the academic oval, staff and students alike are all crowding the area, looking up to something—someone. Renjun sees Jaemin on the highest branch of the tallest tree, and he doesn’t look like he has plans of getting down from it any time soon.

“You don’t even go here!” he hears the head of the operation yells to Jaemin.

“Does that mean I can’t have a _care_ for this?” Jaemin yells back. “These trees are one of the largest and oldest living things in the university. They’re already here before _you_ were born. For how long, these trees did nothing but serve this school. Sheltered people from blinding sunlight, seeped rainwater through their roots so that the buildings won’t drown in floods, provided comfort and solace to everyone just by its presence!”

Jaemin is screaming his heart out now, and in a split second, he meets Renjun’s eyes. Renjun sees fierce determination and burning passion in Jaemin’s eyes, as well as a promise that manages to reach out to him, standing seventy-five feet below the glory that Jaemin is. 

“Nature was here before _us,”_ Jaemin continues. “Projects like this can contribute to the progression of society, but if in return they harm the environment, then are they really worth it, especially when it’s not necessary and better alternatives are proposed? As time passes by, man becomes smarter and comes up with more ideas that can make everyone’s lives easier and better, but before all of that, there is already something that comes to our defense, that takes us in, that protects us and watches out for us; Mother Nature.”

Jaemin is high up above the ground but his words still manage to reach everyone. Everybody is silent, and whether they’re staring at him or looking away from him, they’re all _listening._

“So no, I’m not getting off this tree,” Jaemin says. “Cutting these trees down will bring more harm than benefit. And you’re going to have to take me down with them before I let that happen.”

A moment of silence reigns over the atmosphere. Renjun can hear his heartbeat loud and clear. He looks up at where Jaemin is again, and just like that, he knows exactly what to do next.

He goes to the tree beside the one where Jaemin is and starts to climb it.

“Renjun—” he hears one of his friends call, but Renjun isn’t listening to them. The head operator is calling to him as well, but he keeps climbing and climbing until he and Jaemin are on the same level. 

Renjun smiles at him. “Innovation is great,” he begins to yell, eyes still on Jaemin. “But not to the point where mother nature pays the price. We are all held responsible for this if we let it happen.

Jaemin beams at him.

Just like that, Jeno and Mark emerge from the crowd and follow Jaemin’s lead as well. Jeno scales the tree next to Jaemin, and Mark the one beside Renjun. 

Eventually, other students and teachers find their place up in the trees, all staring down at the operation workers. Despite the protests of the administration, they still climbed up. Renjun knew the consequence—there’s a big chance that he’ll be fired; so is Mark and Jeno and every staff member that climbed up the trees.

However, even from this distance, he can feel the thumping of Jaemin’s heartbeat, reaching out to him as if to tell him to stay strong.

So he lifts his chin up and does just that.

They stay there for what seem like thirty minutes or so until the university chancellor finally arrives and talks to the head of operations. Renjun lets out a big sigh of relief once the chancellor announces that they would negotiate with the company and look through the proposed alternatives for the project so that they can leave the trees alone.

Everybody cheers, shouting and singing celebratory phrases as they all descend from the trees. As Renjun goes down from his own tree, he sees a few of the people actually hugging the trunks, Mark even being one of them.

“Okay!” The chancellor tries to shout in the midst of the cheers. “Everybody, please go back to work or your dormitories!”

“I can’t believe that worked,” Jeno breathes out once he lands. “That was… something else.”

“I agree,” Mark says, his hand immediately finding Jeno’s. Renjun is mildly surprised that he’s not affected by the action. “I’m glad it did.”

“Yeah,” Jeno says. “Well, I still have to go to my office to grab some files. It’s what we came here for, after all.”

Mark nods. He must be here because he’s accompanying Jeno.

“You wanna come with us, Jun?” Mark asks. “We can all grab something to eat after.”

Renjun blinks. On any other day, he would’ve agreed. It’s what he wanted most, after all—to not be left behind in their little friend group. To be included.

He looks up and sees Jaemin still perched by the highest branch, staring at the sky.

Renjun shakes his head. “I’m good. You guys go.”

Jeno follows his eyes and seems to understand. With that, they leave along with the rest of the people.

Jaemin, being the one on the very top of the foliage, descends last. He waits for the rest of the people, even the chancellor and the operators, to leave before he climbs down. When he reaches the ground, there’s triumph in the smile he gives towards Renjun.

Renjun doesn’t think twice when he rushes towards Jaemin and wraps his arms around the guy’s waist, burying his head on Jaemin’s chest as he tightens the hug. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Jaemin wraps his arms around him and traces small circles on his back. 

“Shh…” Jaemin whispers, holding him.

“Thank you,” Renjun manages to say in between sobs. “Thank you.”

“It’s okay now,” he says, and Renjun can hear the smile in his voice, and it reminds Renjun that right now, Jaemin is _real_. “Let’s go home.”

  
  
  


“You know,” Jaemin tells him while he’s helping Renjun with the dishes. “I never thought you’d climb up the tree too.”

Renjun chuckles, passing him the dishwashing liquid. “You can say that you inspired me.”

“Oh?” Jaemin teases. “I inspired you?”

Renjun responds by blowing soap bubbles on his face.

He goes to bed that time feeling grateful. When he wakes up, Jaemin is gone. He’s still grateful, of course, for what Jaemin has done for him this time, but somewhere along that gratitude lies a hidden feeling of loneliness.

  
  
  
  


❦  
 **as a warrior**

  
  


It’s safe to say that Renjun is a sentimental person. Even though he’s moved on from a certain phase of his life, every once in a while, he still reminisces and looks back.

He can still remember the time he decided that he was deeply in love with Mark Lee; the common thread between Renjun and Mark, other than sharing the same majors and ambitions, is music. When they’re not evaluating integrals and differentials, Jeno would be part time helping out in the pet center while Mark and Renjun would go to the small rental studio near the university to make some music.

Mark once called their craft magic, and maybe that was the driving factor for Renjun’s momentous dive to the free fall. Ever since then, he tucks the memory of the studio in a little corner of his heart, just to remind himself that there really was a time where magic happened with Mark Lee.

That’s why when Mark brings it up and adds that the three of them—Jeno included—should go hang out there, Renjun almost blanks out.

Sure, they tried to get Jeno to join them during their undergraduate years, but the guy would always decline, saying he wouldn’t even do anything if he’s there. Now, however, Jeno enthusiastically nods at the thought of letting time pass in the very place he tried so hard to avoid before.

Renjun feels guilty for being conflicted—he’s thrilled that they will all be spending time together soon, but he’s also a bit disappointed that part of the memory he’s tucked in the corner of his heart would be pulled out from its resting place and tampered with.

It’s not that he’s still in love with Mark (he’s really not), it’s just that he’s so used to the thought of that place being his and Mark’s own little world and now he has to deal with the fact that that isn’t actually the case all along. 

He supposes he owes the lamenting to the past Renjun, the one who believed there’s magic in that little corner of the world.

Mark breaks this idea during their trip to, yet again, the _Deja Vu Book House._ He and Jeno seem to have developed a new habit that directs them to tease Renjun. They said that since Renjun has been enjoying novels again lately, it’s only fitting that they should try reading one too. They say all that jokingly, but once they got to the bookstore, they’re easily immersed in the shelves. Renjun just shrugs and let them be. Mark drops the idea casually sometime during their title browsing.

Renjun nods as he lets the two plan their supposed hangout, and eventually, he leaves them be on the _Dystopian Fiction_ aisle. He heads to one of the bookshelves near the counter just because he saw Donghyuck lounging there, and he could use some company that’s not Jeno or Mark.

“You miss him already?” Donghyuck teases.

Renjun frowns, although he already knows what and _who_ Donghyuck is talking about. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know... your face looks constipated.”

“I— what— it’s not about that,” Renjun quickly tells him. “It’s something else...”

Donghyuck chuckles. “Are you sure about that?”

Renjun scoffs. “What gives you the idea that I’m not?”

Donghyuck only grins when he takes the book from Renjun’s hand. It’s a novel he picked up on the aisle that he went to after leaving Jeno and Mark on the other section. They were here to borrow some books, anyway.

“I remember when you used to frequent here when we were still undergraduates,” Donghyuck muses. “Every time a minor inconvenience happens, you’ll head straight here, grab a novel, and seek for an escape.”

Renjun shrugs. “I suppose that’s what you think I’m doing now?”

“Maybe,” Donghyuck says, still observing the book. “Maybe not.”

“Donghyuck, please stop being cryptic. I would lie to get on with my day without having to do the thinking.”

“All I’m saying is,” Donghyuck begins again. “You know how at the end of the day, when all else fails and you get so frustrated at life and the world and you just bawl and there’s only one thing you can do?”

Renjun takes the book back from Donghyuck. He sees the title again. _Jump And Fall._ To be honest, he doesn’t even know what the book is about yet. He just felt like picking it up.

“Yeah,” he replies. “At the end of the day, you find an escape.”

Donghyuck chuckles as he shows him that he already put Renjun’s name on the borrower’s log. “At the end of the day,” he taps at the _Jump And Fall_ book. “You come home.”

Renjun would be lying if he said he’s not reading the story to find a certain _someone,_ but one of the reasons why he’s flying through the pages right now is because the story is just _that_ interesting.

 _Jump And Fall_ is about a warrior race of what seemed like shapeshifting superheroes who are all mortal descendants of some cat goddess in Egypt. The plot is centered on six missions they have to accomplish and Renjun is so immersed in it that he almost stumbles again when he sees Jaemin’s name during the second mission, reeling him back to his new adjusted reality.

> _Jihyo shakes her head profusely. “No, we are absolutely not going to do that. That’s putting a lot of lives in danger.”_
> 
> _“I agree,” Momo says. “Dahyun, I know you have good intentions but it’s too high of a risk. Besides, we can’t be spotted.”_
> 
> _Dahyun shakes her head. “We can turn into cats? Or send Jaemin and the others while we guard the South Post? Look, there’s a way. You just have to see it.”_

Renjun almost laughs. “So is he a superhero or just a regular _catboy?”_

The more he reads on, the more he finds out that Jaemin is both. 

And when he finally reaches the part where the pages turn blank and a crash is heard near his bedroom, Renjun sees the said subject of his thoughts in full leather glory, looking right back at him.

“Well,” Jaemin remarks as Renjun helps him stand up. “Looks like I’m here again.”

Renjun shrugs. “Welcome back, I guess.”

When Jaemin ruffles his hair again, Renjun understands what Donghyuck meant by coming home.

  
  
  


Jaemin’s character is a bit more complicated to grasp this time around. According to him and the novel, he’s an ancient Mai warrior, a mortal descendant of Bastet (the cat goddess of ancient Egypt) who’s also some kind of demigod sworn to protect the human race with their powers and shapeshifting abilities that transform them to felines, which is a more formal name for what he really is—a catboy.

Not really, but Renjun enjoys the annoyed reactions he’s getting from Jaemin whenever he calls him one.

“I’m _not_ a catboy,” Jaemin snarls, sounding like the identity he just denied. “I’m a _Mai warrior.”_

“Sure you are,” Renjun says, and then he adds, _“Catboy."_

Jaemin doesn’t have to turn into a cat to pounce on Renjun.

They fall to routine once again, only this time, Jaemin occasionally walks around the house in his cat form, and whenever Renjun would ask him _why,_ he’ll just say that he’s bored. Renjun tells him he can lounge around the house in all his feline glory so long as Jaemin gets rid of the cat fur falling on the floor and the other furniture.

Jaemin uses his abilities to go with Renjun one time in the university for one of the classes he’ll teach, pretending to be one of the stray cats walking around campus. However, the other stray cats start tailing him as if trying to lure him into their clan and when Renjun saves him from them by taking him inside the classroom, it’s Renjun’s students who gush about him instead.

“That’s enough,” Jaemin tells a laughing Renjun once they get home that day. He stretches his limbs, sighing in relief after remaining in his cat form for hours. “I’m _never_ coming with you to anything as a cat. _Never.”_

Renjun tells him he doesn’t really care.

That’s true, until the day he receives a text from Mark regarding the studio hangout.

 **[ mark** _4:17 PM |_ tomorrow at 1 pm! meet up at saint elise’s coffee shop ^^ see you, junnie. <3 **]**

“Why the gloomy look?” Jaemin asks him. He’s currently seated on the chair opposite the couch, reading an Egyptian mythology encyclopedia that Doyoung lent him when they visited the library.

“Nothing,” Renjun replies, holding the phone tight.

There’s a pause before Jaemin asks again, “Mark and Jeno? Just Mark?”

Renjun blinks. “How’d you know?”

Jaemin shrugs, putting down the book. “I mean, I may not remember much from my past… lives… but you’ve been the constant thing in all of them so I remember you clearly. And I remember how you always look like whenever you talk about your friends.”

That doesn’t sound good to Renjun. “How do I look when I talk about them?”

“Uh… conflicted, mostly,” when Jaemin notices Renjun’s expression deflate, he adds, “The good kind! I guess? Uh… I’m not a writer so I don’t know how to put it into words, but you’re conflicted in a way that you love them, but it’s either you’re not sure you’re showing it well or you don’t know how to show it. Kind of like that.”

Renjun remains silent after that. The ghost of Mark’s text starts to haunt his mind.

Carefully, Jaemin speaks again. “What is it?”

With that, Renjun tells him about the plan that Mark proposed, and the value he has for the studio altogether. Jaemin patiently listens as he rambles on until he slips away from the topic and starts to make no sense anymore. Renjun feels like he’s just letting out all the pent up emotions he’s been holding on. Thankfully, Jaemin doesn’t seem to mind.

“Let me come with you, then,” Jaemin insists after Renjun speaks his piece. “I mean, I’m pretty good company, amn’t I?”

Renjun rolls his eyes. “Bold of you to call yourself that when you can’t even do your own laundry.”

“They don’t teach you that in the Circle!” Jaemin practically wails. “Plus, you know how I basically just adapt to whatever the author of the book describes me as. I guess they forgot to include the knowledge of using a washing machine onto my character’s background.”

“You always have excuses,” Renjun says lightheartedly.

“Okay, but for real,” Jaemin now sounds more serious. “You can introduce me as a graduate school friend this time around. Or maybe, we can pretend to be dating—”

“Pass,” Renjun shakes his head, ignoring how his heart skipped at the _dating_ part. “See, it’s not that easy. That space is pretty personal for us, so I’m not sure how they’ll react when I bring a stranger to them in a place meant for just the three of us.”

“Three of you…” Jaemin ponders. “But isn’t it a place exclusive to you and Mark only? And now you guys are bringing Jeno to it.”

Renjun is silent about that.

“Sorry,” Jaemin quickly amends. “I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Renjun reassures. Deep down, he means it. “It’s true.”

Jaemin doesn’t push any further, and Renjun is thankful. Exactly like what he told Jaemin, it’s true—somehow, Renjun held that studio dear to his heart and regarded it as one of the things that’s meant for him and Mark only.

“This is where we’ll make magic someday, Junnie,” Mark told him once when Renjun was in love. “There will be magic here.”

And now that _that_ someday came, it’s not just Mark and Renjun. Jeno is there too.

Something nuzzles on his leg which reels him back from his thoughts. He looks down and sees a cat looking up at him with big, bright, familiar eyes.

“Seriously, Jaemin,” but Renjun is chuckling while saying all that. “You’ll get fur all over the floor.”

In an instant, there’s a quick _poof_ and Jaemin is now standing on the floor where the cat used to be. 

“Come on, I told you I’ll sweep it afterwards. Plus, I read somewhere that your serotonin levels increase when a pet is comforting you.”

“Did you really read that or did you make that up?”

“Okay fine, I made it up,” Jaemin now sits beside Renjun.

“Man, I miss the time when you weren’t a shape shifting character.”

“God, would you rather I be a vampire again? My sleeping schedule is a _mess,_ and I didn’t even get to see you much that time— anyway! If I really can’t accompany you, then you can just text me while the whole thing is going on. I’ll be replying fast, I promise.”

Renjun looks down on the floor, observing the few strands of cat hair that are resting on the floor. Up until now, he still doesn’t understand the significance of Jaemin being a shapeshifter-superhero in real life. However, the more he reminds himself that Jaemin can turn into a cat by will, the more he sees the opportunity presenting itself.

When he turns to meets Jaemin’s eyes, Renjun is the one bearing a cheshire smile.

“Got us some doughnuts,” Mark says as he lifts up the box of _Krispy Kreme._ “Sorry I’m late.”

Jeno playfully rolls his eyes, swinging his arm around Renjun. “You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s Christmas already and you’re still not here.”

Renjun nods in support.

“Hey!” Mark pouts. “I get us some food and this is how I’m treated.”

The walk to the studio isn’t a long one. Renjun estimates that in fifteen minutes or less, they’ll probably arrive in the venue. With that, he constantly looks around as if trying to spot something.

“You okay?” Jeno asks him, arm still draped over Renjun’s shoulder. “You seem restless.”

Renjun nods. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me—“

“Ah!”

The scream comes from Mark who almost drops the doughnuts. Thankfully, Jeno has quick reflexes and is able to rush to his side just in time and catch the box.

“How can you drop this?” Renjun hears Jeno ask.

Mark scratches the back of his neck. “I thought I stepped on a moving object. I don’t know; it’s too fast, that’s why I didn’t see it coming.”

Jeno almost _tsks._ “What moving object could that possibly be?”

Just then, Renjun feels something nuzzling on his feet. When he looks down, he sees a familiar cat looking at him with big, bright eyes.

 _There you are,_ he thinks, smiling.

The logic behind Renjun’s plan goes like this — if Jaemin can’t physically accompany Renjun as his human self, then perhaps his cat form can do the trick. Jaemin contemplated about this for a few moments, given that he _did_ swear to himself that he’s not going anywhere with Renjun as a cat. However, he also didn’t want to leave Renjun alone so he agrees.

According to the plan, once Renjun and his friends are on the way to the studio, Jaemin would pretend to be pne of those affectionate street cats that can’t seem to leave Renjun alone and therefore, they would have no choice but to take the poor little thing with them in the studio.

“That!” Mark immediately points at the cat. “It’s too quick.”

Jeno, who has always been fond of cats despite his allergy towards them, immediately coos at the sight. “Hey there, little fella!”

The cat—Jaemin—responds by rubbing his head against Renjun’s leg. Renjun then crouches and pats his head.

“Wow,” Mark chuckles. “It seems to like you quite a bit.”

The cat lets out an affectionate meow.

Jeno giggles. _““A bit?_ I think you meant _a lot,_ it looks like it’s not leaving Renjun alone any time soon.”

Renjun continues to pet Jaemin’s head. “Yeah, it feels like this thing is gonna stick with me forever.”

Mark laughs at that. “Just bring him with us, then. There’s no sign that says pets aren’t allowed, and it looks like the cat will behave inside.”

“Yeah, let’s do that,” Renjun winks at the cat before he stands up and starts walking behind Jeno and Mark, Jaemin following him close by.

The first thing Renjun discovers once they arrive at the studio is that Jeno, thanks to Mark, knows how to play the guitar. Mark searches something in his phone and hands it to Renjun. It turns out to be the lyrics to a song of one of the western artists Mark is obsessed with lately. While Renjun is trying to figure out the melody, Jeno and Mark work on the arrangement for the accompaniment.

He feels Jaemin, who’s seated beside him nibbling on a doughnut, move closer to him. Renjun pets his head again while still reading the lyrics.

“Let me practice the melody with you, hmm?” He tells Jaemin who’s unable to reply with concrete words. “I mean, you’re stuck in that form so you will be unable to make fun of me.”

The cat meows, as if trying to tell Renjun _I’m not going to make fun of you!_ He only rolls his eyes

When he starts to sing the verse quietly, the cat let outs a whine and bumps its head on Renjun’s lap, demanding from more. Renjun laughs and continues to sing the song in a louder voice this time. Somewhere during the chorus, he hears the faint sound of guitars trying to match his voice. When he turns to check Jeno and Mark, they just motion for him to continue. And so he does.

Eventually, the three of them finally found their common ground with the rhythm and the sounds they’re making start to blend perfectly with one another. Jeno keeps the general melody, Mark adds patterns to the rhythm while occasionally harmonizing, and Renjun brings the lyrics to life. 

In that moment, Renjun wants to laugh—there he was, a few days ago, worrying about how he feels towards this whole letting Jeno in the space that was once just his and Mark’s, and now he’s thinking that any other version of this moment where it’s not the three of them together seems so... wrong. 

Mark once said that they’re going to create magic someday.

Indeed, that’s exactly what they’re doing right now. Renjun wouldn’t have it any other way.

Well, perhaps there’s _one_ thing that Renjun wouldn’t mind changing.

Cat Jaemin is his head against Renjun every given time, letting Renjun know that he’s there. That even if he falls back to doubting or the negative corner of his mind, he’ll be there to keep him grounded. Renjun starts to think that it would be nice if it’s Jaemin’s actual presence that’s there.

Still, with the small smiles Jeno and Mark are exchanging, with Jaemin beaming at him adoringly, with the four of them enjoying Mark’s _Krispy Kremes_ after jamming along to three songs, with all of them creating magic together, Renjun thinks _this_ is more than enough.

“Well,” Jaemin grins as soon as he transforms back to his human form, stretching his limbs. “That went well.”

Renjun dusts off his clothes. “You think so?”

There’s a sparkle in Jaemin’s eyes. “I _know_ so. It’s the happiest I’ve seen you in a while.”

“Oh,” Renjun muses. “I don’t recall smiling so wide.”

“The size of your smile doesn’t always measure the happiness you’re feeling,” Jaemin says, grabbing the broom near the door to sweep off the fur that landed on the floor. “I mean, you can be laughing out loud and dying inside at the same time. Though, in your case a while ago, you were looking at them fondly when you thought they weren’t looking. And you had on this small, pretty smile that easily delivers the message you don’t even voice out.”

Renjun feels his cheeks flush. Thankfully, Jaemin is preoccupied with sweeping the floor to notice.

Before he can say anything else, Jaemin speaks again. “It’s all great when you smile at them fondly without them looking, but it’ll be even greater if you give them that smile when they’re actually looking.”

Renjun chuckles. “They don’t let me, unfortunately. They always have to hide it.”

Jaemin shrugs. “Then tell them not to.”

“What?”

Jaemin points at the rastaclat on Renjun’s wrist. “You’ve been friends for years. A simple conversation can do no harm.”

Renjun instinctively touches the material. 

Jaemin chuckles. “They deserve to see that smile, too.”

“Why do you always know the right thing to say?” Renjun jokes, getting the dust pan to help Jaemin out.

Jaemin shrugs playfully. “I came from a book, Renjun. I exist through words.”

“Yeah,” Renjun sighs wistfully. “I’m starting to think you’ll come back soon, with all that you’ve been doing right now.”

Ache resurfaces on Renjun’s chest right after he says that. However, it quickly dissipates the instant Jaemin flashes him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, there’s always a next time.”

Renjun is right. The next day, Jaemin has already returned to the story. Renjun expects the familiar loneliness to greet him, but he feels a sliver of hope fluttering in the supposed emptiness. He smiles, holding on to the promise of “next time”.

  
  
  


❦  
 **as an alien**

  
  
  


The final exams for his masterals is taking a toll on Renjun’s time, sleep, and health. Most of the time, he studies with Jeno and Mark whenever they invite him, even though they still study on their own once they get together. More often than not, Jeno and Mark will have plans right after every session, and Renjun will spare them the explaining by getting ahead of them and saying he’ll head home right after. Normally, he’d feel envious, but right now, all he cares about is passing.

Jeno and Mark must have sensed this, because the next time they meet in the library, they propose something.

“You know that movie trailer we all thought was cool?” Mark tells him. “It’ll premiere on Wednesday. We should watch it after finals.”

“I agree,” Jeno now ditches his calculus textbook. “When’s your exam schedule? Mine’s Friday.”

“Mine’s Friday too,” Mark says as he scrolls on his phone. “Last showing will be on Saturday. Let’s go then.”

“That sounds fun,” Renjun agrees, pulling out his own phone. “Let me check my schedule. I think I have Friday as well.”

When he opens his Reminders application, a big, bold ‘SATURDAY’ is written beside the ‘masteral 23 final’.

Jeno gets a glimpse of his screen and frowns. “Are you sure it’s Saturday?”

Renjun just sighs. “Yeah… Looks like I can’t come.”

“No,” Mark is quick to say. “We’re not going to watch without you. Let’s just wait until it comes out on DVD and watch it somewhere.”

In all honesty, Renjun is touched with their efforts of making him feel included. Still, he doesn’t want to keep them from watching it, not when they’ve both been very vocal about their excitement with the film ever since the first trailer came out.

And so, he shakes his head. “Don’t worry about me. The both of you should go.”

“Jun—”

“Please,” Renjun practically begs, adding a chuckle at the end so that it still sounds lighthearted. “I’ll just feel guilty if I hold you guys back.”

Mark sighs. “You’re not holding us back—”

“Guys,” Renjun says sternly now. “I’ll be fine. I’m not really fond of watching it anyway, so it’s okay.”

That was a lie. Renjun has been anticipating it just as much as Mark and Jeno, but he needed something to convince them to go. That seemed to do the trick because eventually, Jeno just nods and sighs, and a few moments later, Mark is doing the same.

The next day, Renjun decides to head to _Deja Vu Book House_ and study on his own. As much as he appreciates Mark and Jeno’s company, he needs some time for himself. He’d study in his apartment, but there’s far too many distractions that Renjun wouldn’t be able to focus much.

Donghyuck finds him in one of the corner cubicles as he picks up some books. “Found him yet?”

Renjun pretends he doesn’t know who he’s talking about. “Who?”

He’s keeping his eyes on the pages of his handouts, pointedly ignoring Donghyuck’s calculating gaze. “Okay, play that game then.”

“I don’t have time,” Renjun replies, which is true. He even got one of his fellow instructors to take over his shift for the next week just so he can focus on studying. “Maybe after finals.”

“Mhm…” Donghyuck hums. “Well, Ten hyung is sorting through new title arrivals near the science shelves. One of them might interest you.”

“Like I said, after finals.” Renjun repeats.

Donghyuck shrugs and proceeds back to picking books.

However, before Renjun leaves, he fancies a visit on the science shelves and borrows one book, ignoring the knowing smile Ten gives him as he bids him goodbye.

  
  
  


Renjun loves Math. He really does—but if he has to see one more triple iterated integral in his life, he’s going to explode. 

He closes his textbook and glances at the clock. _11:25._ He figures he can treat himself to an early sleep tonight.

As he packs up his supplies, Renjun catches sight of the novel he hastily borrowed from _Deja Vu Book House_ a while ago. He tosses the last highlighter on his pencil case before ditching them altogether for the book. 

_Universal Code,_ the title read. Renjun immediately proceeds to read the synopsis at the back. It’s about a team of intergalactic warriors who are traveling in what seemed to be the sixth galaxy in the hopes of finding a hidden paradise for their people to move in. Apparently, they’ve been living in a large space ship for how long now ever since another alien race catapulted star bombs to their planet, making it inhabitable.

Renjun glances at the clock again. _11:30._

He proceeds to read.

The beginning starts out slow, with the world building and the overall explanation of the gist. As much as Renjun wants to skim through it, he doesn’t want to miss a single detail, not when _that_ could lead him to a certain person.

And indeed; when Renjun encounters his name again on a page, he smiles.

> _Yeosang carefully opens one of the doors, the blinding prism of the Morph greeting him as he does so. At the center of the room, he sees a person crouched on one of the Morph Crystals, polishing it thoroughly that Yeosang can even see his reflection on it from a distance._
> 
> _The boy must have sensed that someone has entered and smiles. “Hey there!”_
> 
> _“Hey Jaemin,” Yeosang greets. “I was wondering if…”_

Time is forgotten as Renjun reads on. Even his exhaustion from studying too much is forgotten. Renjun reads every sentence carefully, taking in the story as much as he can.

(And every time Jaemin appears, he rereads the passage over and over again with a smile.)

The story abruptly stops at a battle part. The next pages are blank, and Renjun can hear his heart starting to beat fast. He knows what’s coming next.

There’s another crash—this time, it came from his backyard. He quickly grabs a jacket and rushes outside to where it happened.

As expected, magic appeared by the back door, in the form of a smiling Na Jaemin who looks just as excited as Renjun that he’s there. He’s wearing the outfit that the book described before it got interrupted—a tank top and worn out pajamas pants, courtesy of the battle. Still he looks confident (beautiful) as ever. “What took you so long this time, darling?”

Renjun only laughs as he hands him the jacket. “Come on.”

  
  
  


Instead of sleeping, Jaemin and Renjun find themselves catching up in the living room at one am in the morning.

Just like what the novel says, Jaemin tells Renjun that he’s some sort of cool space dude this time around. There’s a political hierarchy in the book’s system, and although Jaemin is not at the top, he’s still placed on a pretty high tier.

“Morph Crystals,” he says, pointing at a glowing beaded bracelet on his wrist. Beneath it, Renjun can see a thin strip of silver that’s identical to the one on his wrist, and he’s unable to suppress a smile. “You see these glowing little circles over here? They’re Morph Crystals, a portable extension of the Morph. Have you read that part yet?”

Renjun nods, stifling a yawn, although _that_ doesn’t go unnoticed with Jaemin, seeing how he frowns at the action. “The Morph is like… the representation of time and space, isn’t it? It’s like a portal, and you have one in your ship. You can manipulate yourself through time and space with it.”

“Yeah, if you put it that way, although I’d just like to call it time travel.” Jaemin says in a gentler voice. “Hey, don’t you think it’s time for you to sleep?”

Admittedly, Renjun is feeling drowsy. However, it’s been a couple of weeks since he last saw Jaemin, and if he’s being honest, he missed the guy’s presence gracing the apartment.

He shakes his head. “Later,” he replies. “Tomorrow’s a Sunday, anyway.”

Jaemin doesn't look on board, but he doesn’t push any further. “Okay, if you say so.”

Renjun chuckles. “I look like a mess right now, don’t I?”

“You look… exhausted,” Jaemin says. “What have you been doing?” 

“Finals,” Renjun simply replies. “It’s taking its toll on me.”

“Wait, how many years does your post graduate degree have?”

Sometimes, it amazes Renjun how Jaemin can still remember all the things Renjun told him the previous times he came to life, even though there are literally several stories happening in between.

“Two,” Renjun replies. “After this, I’ll still have to take another one, so the suffering doesn’t end yet.” 

“Well, the end goal will make it all worth it,” Jaemin says. And then, he tries again, “Although, right now, I think you could use some rest. It’s not like I’m going anywhere anytime soon, I literally just came here.”

He says all that in a joking manner, but Renjun still smiles at the genuine concern. Jaemin, who’s seated on the chair across the couch where Renjun is practically leaning on for support, looks _this_ close to coming over to where he is and personally dragging him to his bedroom to sleep.

“Fine, I’ll sleep,” Renjun says, willing himself to stand up. “I’m about to lose more of it in the next few days anyway.”

Jaemin immediately stands up to help keep him steady and balanced. “Is it really that time consuming?”

“Very,” Renjun mumbles, remembering the conversation he had with Jeno and Mark again. “I can’t even accompany my friends to this movie we really want to watch?”

“Why not?” Jaemin asks as he accompanies him on his way to his bedroom.

“Well,” Renjun chuckles to himself. “There’s this movie we really want to watch, but it only runs until Saturday. Jeno and Mark’s exams take place on Friday so they can watch it, but mine happens on a Saturday. Had to pretend that I didn’t really want to watch the movie badly just so they could watch it without me… I don’t really want to hold them back.”

He can’t see it, but he knows Jaemin is frowning. “You’re not holding them back.”

Renjun shrugs. “I feel like I am.” _I know that I am._

There’s a pause before Jaemin speaks again. “You really want to watch the movie, huh?”

“Yeah,” Renjun manages to say before a yawn escapes his lips again. When he reaches the doorframe of his room, he pinches Jaemin’s cheek lightly. “Good night, Jaemin.”

Jaemin ruffles his hair before he lets Renjun retreat in his room for the night.

Renjun sleeps a dreamless sleep that night out of exhaustion, but he does so with a smile resting on his face.

  
  
  


They fall back to routine, as usual. Jaemin is leisuring around the house while Renjun is getting ready for his finals.

For someone who’s going through a lot of studying, Renjun somehow feels like he manages to get enough sleep. There was a time where he slept at 1:30 am and woke up at 5, but his body felt like it’s been sleeping for eight straight hours. Not that he minded, though. The illusionary feeling that he got enough rest is useful.

Even during his finals, Renjun feels well rested that he actually managed to breeze through four excruciating hours of that exam. He’s in such a good mood that when he gets home, he tells Jaemin not to cook anything because he’s going to order two buckets of chicken and pepperoni pizza.

Sometime during the night, he receives tons of messages from Mark and Jeno about the movie, the two of them even sending selfies and pictures where they edited Renjun’s Facebook profile picture in the frame. It makes Renjun’s laugh, and even though he’s pretty sure that his grades for his finals are on unsteady ground, today feels great.

“Your friends?” Jaemin asks him as he notices Renjun smiling on the phone.

“Yeah,” Renjun sighs fondly, a longing gaze lingering at one of the pictures they sent beside the movie poster. Still, he smiles. “My friends.”

  
  
  


“Come on, get dressed,” Jaemin tells Renjun as he barges inside Renjun’s room on a Sunday afternoon.

“What? Why?” Renjun says, setting the test papers he was checking aside “Did something happen?”

“We’re going out,” Jaemin tells him briefly. “ Just change your clothes for now. You can ask questions later.”

Renjun doesn’t know what Jaemin is up to, but he’s already grown to trust the guy that once Jaemin leaves, Renjun does just as he’s told. He picks a cashmere sweater and pairs it with the pants he wore on Friday to the university. Once Jaemin comes back to the room, Renjun is all dressed up.

“Come on, now,” Jaemin says. “We’ll miss the bus.”

Renjun’s forehead creases. “Are you really not going to tell me where we’re going?’

“Nope!” Jaemin then takes his hand. “You’ll see when we get there. Let’s go!”

On the bus ride, Renjun continues to pester Jaemin with questions. However, Jaemin is just as stubborn, refusing to give anything away. Renjun huffs and looks over the bus window instead for the rest of the ride.

Renjun concludes that he must still be tired after the exams he had, because sometime during the bus ride, he spots a billboard of the daily news on the side of the road dated five days ago.

When they get off, Renjun gets even more confused as he looks at the venue where they’re at.

“The movie theater?” Renjun asks. “Really? There’s not a lot of good movies today… the one Jeno, Mark and I were anticipating had its last show yesterday.”

“What’s the title of the movie?” Jaemin asks him, a suspicious smile resting on his face.

Renjun raises an eyebrow. _“Terrestrial,_ or something like that. Why?”

Jaemin only points at the list of movies showing. Renjun’s jaw drops once he reads the movie titles.

 _Terrestrial_ is listed to be showing in two of the cinema rooms.

“What?!” Renjun is _very_ confused. “But they said the show ended already yesterday. I even checked it last night! Why is it still showing?”

“Sometimes, when blessings appear,” Jaemin says. “You don’t have to question them. Just say _thank you_ to whoever and enjoy. Come on, let’s get tickets.”

Renjun still doesn’t understand a thing, even the fact that Jaemin seems so casual about all of this. He knows that Jaemin’s entire existence is strange, but he doesn’t expect him to be as nonchalant as he is right now with such an odd situation.

“I got our tickets!” Jaemin beams happily, waving them in front of Renjun’s face after his turn in the line. He takes Renjun’s hand in his. “Let’s go inside.”

Something crosses Renjun’s mind. It’s true that Jaemin is an enigma himself, and if he doesn’t find the entire thing sketchy, then that could only mean that Jaemin knows what’s going on.

“Okay,” Renjun tells him once they’re seated in the theater. “Tell me the truth. I know you have something to do with this.”

“Truth about what?” Jaemin asks. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Jaemin!”

“What?”

Renjun gives him a stern look. “What did you do?”

Jaemin only grins before standing up. “I’ll get us some popcorn.”

“Wha— Na Jaemin!”

 _Too_ conveniently for Jaemin, he returns with the popcorn just in time for the movie to start. When Renjun is about to ask him again about what he did, he simply points at the screen. “Can’t talk, movie’s starting.”

Renjun groans and settles on his seat, grumpily taking the popcorn Jaemin got him.

The movie reminds Renjun of Jaemin. It’s about a human boy who gets abducted by a bad race of aliens and now the good aliens are trying to save the human boy because apparently, the human boy is important to the universe.

Jaemin whispers side comments to Renjun as the movie plays, mostly stuff like “The stars from where I came from are brighter than the one in this movie,” or “It’s not hard to get oxygen,” and Renjun would usually scold someone if they try to talk to him during a film but he with Jaemin, he’s entertained that he actually listens to him.

Renjun even asks questions sometimes. “Is it true that there are aliens on Venus? Are there aliens in the Venus of your story?”

Jaemin shudders. “You _can’t_ live in Venus. Although I suppose if the aliens’ bodies transformed and evolved to adapt, but according to the story, we all look like humans so far.”

“That’s interesting,” Renjun remarks.

At the part where the human boy’s best friend begs the good aliens to take him with them so that he can help with the hunt, Renjun suddenly gets an idea. He brushes it off several times but it just keeps resurfacing that he just decides to go through it.

He takes a deep breath before he slowly moves his hand and captures Jaemin’s own. 

Renjun keeps his eyes straight ahead.

 _It’s warm,_ Renjun thinks. And after a few seconds, when Jaemin intertwines their fingers and holds Renjun’s hand as well, it’s even warmed.

He still keeps his eyes straight ahead, but he’s smiling now.

Even after the movie ends and they go outside laughing and talking about the film, they still have their hands linked. Renjun notices this several times, but even then, he still doesn’t let go. Jaemin must have noticed it too at some point, but he, too, doesn’t make any effort to let go.

The warmth extends to Renjun’s heart.

“Okay,” Jaemin finally speaks once they’re by the shed, waiting for a bus. “I’ll be honest with you now.”

“Hmm?”

“About the movie and everything.”

Renjun has to admit that he almost forgot about that. Maybe it came down to the point where he doesn’t care much about it anymore, but he still lets Jaemin talk.

“Remember the book I came from this time?” Jaemin asks him.

Renjun nods. _“Universal Code,_ right?”

“Yeah, that,” Jaemin glances at their linked hands, confirming Renjun’s earlier thought on him knowing about it and still not letting go. Renjun looks down as well and he sees their matching bracelets next to each other. There’s also Jaemin’s weird _Morph_ bracelet on the other guy’s wrist. “Remember that little guy? The bracelet with the circles.”

“The one with the _Morph Crystals?_ Yeah, I do.”

“Well,” Jaemin chuckles. “Apparently, it works everywhere. Even here. And since my character in the book pictures me as some sort of guardian of our ship’s _Morph_ and _Morph Crystals,_ I tried to use it here. It worked.”

Renjun’s eyes go wide as saucers. “You mean—“ he remembers the daily billboard, the list of films showing, and suddenly, it all pieces together in his mind. “Did we just _time travel?“_

Jaemin laughs. “If you put it that way, yeah.”

“Holy shit, this is so cool!”

“Also,” Jaemin adds, although there’s a long pause that takes over before he speaks again. “This isn’t the first time I have used it here.”

Renjun raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Jaemin smiles. “You know how all those times you feel like you got enough sleep even though you only slept for like, three hours?”

Realization dawns over Renjun. “You didn’t.”

“I did,” Jaemin squeezed his hand. “All while you’re sleeping, that’s why you probably didn’t notice.”

“I—“ Renjun is once again at a loss for words.

“If you’re wondering how we’re going to get back,” Jaemin speaks for him. “All we have to do is go back to the house. _Morph Crystals_ can only work to a certain extent, so the time you can use it is also limited. In our case, I think I was able to use seven hours only. I used the _Crystal_ in the apartment. So long as we get back there within the seven hours, we’ll get transported to the present in no time. Otherwise, we’ll be stuck here.”

Renjun nods, still processing the fact that Jaemin literally bent time and space just so he can watch a stupid movie about aliens and just so he can get enough rest.

Still unable to find the right words, he squeezes Jaemin’s hand instead. Jaemin gets the message.

When they get home, Renjun still finds himself unable to speak. That’s why when Jaemin finally lets go of his hand and bids him good night, he just lets it happen.

  
  
  


Jaemin is nowhere to be found in the guestroom the morning after. Longing and regret washes over Renjun as he tidies up the sheets of where the other guy used to be.

 _Next time,_ he promises himself as he allows himself to look for traces of Jaemin in the room. _Next time._

  
  
  
  


❦  
 **as a prince**

  
  
  


_It’s because I have a lot of free time,_ Renjun consoles himself as an attempt to justify the decisions he made. _That’s just it. I just really have a ton of free time. Finals are over, I wouldn’t be grading any test papers soon—I literally have free time._

After the last time Jaemin disappeared, Renjun, having nothing else to do, borrowed tons of novels from the library to read. He reads through every single one of them, hoping to find one familiar name. Donghyuck, Doyoung and Ten even laugh every time he storms into the library with a frustrated face all the while demanding a new book.

He even gets a nice remark from Mark and Jeno about how he rekindled with his love for books.

However, there’s still no sign of Jaemin in any of the pages.

It even came to the point where the invitation to Jungwoo and Lucas' wedding arrived first before Jaemin. 

“Looks like you miss him a lot more than before,” Ten tells him when Renjun returns to the umpteenth time to borrow another book. The letters _Night Crown_ adorn the covers and spine of the novel. “At this point, you’ll end up reading the entire library.”

 _If that’s what it takes, I will._ Renjun doesn’t say that out loud.

True to what they say, hard work _does_ pay off.

> _“What do I have to do?” Changbin asks._
> 
> _Bang Chan puts down the oil lamp before looking at Changbin._
> 
> _“Find Hwang Hyunjin,” Chan instructs. “He’s skilled in this field, and you’ll need his help.”_
> 
> _“Help with what?” Changbin asks again._
> 
> _Chan only sighs. “With protecting the crown prince Jaemin.”_

Renjun almost jumps off his bed in glee. “Got you,” he says excitedly to no one in particular.

When Renjun finally reaches the part where the pages become blank, he waits for the crash that will arrive soon enough. Indeed, the familiar sound by the living room, and once he rushes towards there, Jaemin is lying on the floor by the couch, clad in ridiculous royal robes, a lazy smile forming on his lips the instant he sees Renjun.

“Need some help there, Your Highness?” Renjun teases, but he offers his hand.

Jaemin doesn’t hesitate one bit when he takes Renjun’s hand. “I only need _you_ , darling.”

Renjun smacks him in the head after that, but the smile doesn’t leave his face.

“You’re pretty fancy now,” Renjun tells him as he puts on _Reply 1988_ on their television. “I mean, you’re still not the main character, but you got a pretty big role.”

Jaemin chuckles, skimming through the book he came from. “It’s a burden, actually. How can a single person unite six kingdoms, anyway? The author must hate me for bringing this responsibility unto me.”

 _“Bringing this responsibility unto me,”_ Renjun mimics jokingly. “See, even the way you speak sounds so high end. I think I really should call you by your official title from now on.”

Jaemin groans. “Please, don’t. I’ve gone through my fair share of nobilities and etiquettes during my time in this book. I like what I have with you right now.”

The last statement manages to tug on Renjun’s heartstrings.

Before Renjun can press ‘play’ on the remote, Jaemin makes a surprised noise. “Oh, what’s this?”

Renjun turns to look at him and sees the invitation to Jungwoo and Lucas' wedding. He almost forgot he used it as a bookmark out of excitement.

“An invitation to my seniors’ wedding,” Renjun replies. He then clears his throat. “You’d like it there, you know. I mean, you’re royalty this time. You’d definitely enjoy the fancy setting and all.”

Jaemin places the invitation back to where he picked it up and chuckles. “Is this you inviting me to be your date to the event, Huang Renjun?”

Renjun fixes his gaze on the television, his fingers fiddling with the remote. He’s certain that there’s a blush creeping up his cheeks, but he pretends to ignore it. “Maybe.”

Jaemin takes the remote from him and presses ‘play’, the familiar opening sound of the drama filling the room along with Jaemin’s laughter. “You could’ve just said so. You know I’d go with you anywhere.”

Renjun throws a pillow at him, but he doesn’t attempt to hide his blush this time.

  
  
  


It’s on a bleaky Monday morning that Renjun hears the thing he dreads the most.

They’re running out of groceries, so Renjun takes it upon himself to fancy a visit at the local store, even jokingly telling Jaemin that he isn’t going to buy the strawberry milk the other guy has been craving. Of course, that’s a lie. The first section Renjun goes to once he reaches the store is the dairy section, where he searches for a respectable brand with a reasonable price.

That’s also where he sees Donghyuck who’s also doing some shopping on his own.

Sometimes, Renjun forgets that Donghyuck has a life outside the library.

“Fancy seeing you here!” Donghyuck greets him. “What’s up?”

They engage in a small conversation, mostly just questions like _how are you_ or _how’s the library_ or _how’s your finals._ It’s all pretty harmless until the wedding is brought up, and therefore discussions about Renjun’s date are brought up, and therefore discussions about Jaemin are brought up.

“Who knows,” Renjun jokes heartily as he browses through the strawberry milk cartons Jaemin seems to like a lot. “He might be some sort of witch the next time he comes back.”

He expects Donghyuck to snicker or make some pseudo-wise remark, but instead he’s met with silence. Renjun frowns as he turns to Donghyuck who seems to be chewing the inside of his cheek, contemplating something.

“You okay?” Renjun asks. “Did I say something wrong?”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “No, it’s just…” he takes a deep breath, and Renjun’s heart drops when he sees the apologetic gleam in Donghyuck’s eyes. “According to you, it’s his sixth time coming back, right?”

“Yes…” Renjun answers, not liking where the conversation is going. “What about it?”

Donghyuck looks away.

Renjun is about to ask him more about it until realization dawns upon him. It’s too sudden that he holds on to one of the ice cream freezers behind him just to steady himself.

 _Six islands,_ Renjun remembers. In the story where Jaemin is a pirate, his character has to find a certain treasure and navigate through six islands just to do so.

In the story where Jaemin is a vampire, it’s on the sixth midnight of Christmas that the spirit of the moon gives them a curse. Renjun also remembers the six flags that united the revolution in the story where Jaemin is a rebel.

Six missions Jaemin had to complete as a Mai warrior. An undiscovered paradise in the sixth galaxy when Jaemin was an astronaut. And now, six kingdoms Jaemin has to unite as the crown prince.

Six.

Jaemin is in his sixth character now. He came to life the sixth time around. He came to Renjun the sixth time around.

“After the sixth,” Donghyuck begins again, voice treading lightly. “There won’t be a next time.”

Renjun has already realized that, but hearing it out loud still stings. He should’ve known that Jaemin can’t keep coming back, that there’s no way he’ll just keep meeting a different version of him throughout his life.

Truth be told, he doesn’t really give the idea of Jaemin never returning to this world again much thought, but he knows that there’s a big possibility that it would happen someway, somehow.

He just doesn’t expect it to be so sudden.

(He just doesn’t expect it to _actually_ happen at all.)

“Yeah,” Renjun manages to let out, now gripping the strawberry milk carton tightly. Truthfully and painfully, he adds, “I knew that.”

  
  
  


Renjun should’ve seen it coming. Granted, he’s aware that this... arrangement with Jaemin isn’t going to last forever. It’s bound to end.

When he returns to the apartment and Jaemin instantly mirrors the forlorn expression on his face, Renjun immediately knows that Jaemin must’ve figured it out as well. There’s some sort of unspoken understanding hanging over the air around them, and neither of them has to say a word in order to figure out.

Renjun gives Jaemin his strawberry milk and sits beside him as another episode of _Reply 1988_ plays on the television.

It’s Jaemin who breaks the ice. “How’d you figure out?” he asks Renjun.

Eyes still on the television, Renjun responds. “Donghyuck. I suppose I should’ve seen it coming. You?”

Jaemin heaves a sigh. “I don’t know... I just have this feeling. Maybe it’s always there, you know? Deep down, I knew this is the last. Maybe that’s why I got quite a grand character this time—because there’s not going to be a next time.”

Renjun ignores the ache in his chest. They let the television play out a few more scenes before Renjun speaks again.

“You’ll still go with me to the wedding, right?”

Jaemin chuckles. “Of course. I have a feeling it’s what I have to do before I...”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but Renjun already knows what’s supposed to come after his words.

 _Before he leaves,_ Renjun thinks.

Jaemin clears his throat. “I suppose, slow dancing is involved?”

Renjun shrugs. “Aren’t they some sort of default with weddings?”

“I don’t know,” Jaemin chuckles. “You’re the one living in this world, not me.”

Renjun joins him in laughter. “That sucks then,” he says. “I don’t know how to dance.”

“Okay, now you’re messing with me.”

“I’m being serious!”

“Slow dancing is easy! You literally just sway back and forth, side to side—it’s all just swaying.”

Renjun throws a pillow at him, almost knocking out the strawberry carton milk from Jaemin’s hands. “Easy for you to say, _Your Highness,”_ Renjun jokes. “You’re born from nobility. You’re meant to go on balls and grace the dance floor and all those stuff.”

Jaemin sets down the carton of milk on the table and stands up. He then extends his hand towards Renjun.

Renjun only eyes it suspiciously. “What are you doing?”

“I’ll show you how easy it is,” Jaemin simply replies. “It’s not difficult at all.”

“Pass...” Renjun answers, rolling his eyes.

“Oh come on,” Jaemin tries again. “You’re going to deny a man one dance?”

“Yes.”

“Come on, Renjun.”

“No.”

“Renjun...”

“No.”

“Huang Renjun...”

“No.”

“So if I start tickling you—“

“Okay fine, let’s dance,” Renjun takes Jaemin’s hand and gets up on his feet. “If I step on your foot, that’s on you.”

Jaemin chuckles, taking Renjun’s other hand. “So long as you don’t do it on purpose.”

“Now,” Renjun glances at their hands. “So, where do these go—“

He gets cut off when the other guy brings both of his hands behind Jaemin’s neck. After that, Jaemin places his own hands on Renjun’s waist.

“Here,” Jaemin whispers, breath almost fanning Renjun’s face due to the proximity of their faces.

The only sound that can be heard in the room is the scene playing from the television. For a few seconds, they just stood there, looking at each other under the afternoon light.

Then, Jaemin starts to sway, guiding Renjun along with him. There’s no music to dance to, but they do it anyway. Renjun blames that for the sloppy steps he’s starting to make.

“See,” he chuckles when he almost steps on Jaemin’s foot. “I’m a bad dancer.”

“I don’t mind,” Jaemin immediately replies with no trace of playfulness in his voice.

The television now proceeds to the next episode, and the two of them are still in the middle of Renjun’s living room, swaying to nothing but the beat of their hearts. 

It’s Jaemin who pulls away. “Yeah, that’s how you do it.”

Renjun’s heartbeat starts to race.

They go back to the couch and rewind the parts of the previous episode they missed, with the ghost of the dance they just had as well as the words left unspoken still hanging around the air.

  
  
  


The wedding is grand, like all other weddings are—not because of the setup or the decoration, but because the people getting wed really look the happiest. Renjun enjoyed every moment, loved witnessing two people in love finally sealing their places in each other’s life.

The happiness extends until the reception. Where the ceremony proper if formal, the afterparty is a lot more casual. Johnny and Jaehyun playing a drunken truth or dare game around the wedding cake is a testament to this. 

Jeno and Mark are sharing a table with Renjun and Jaemin as well as a few of their fellow instructors and their plus ones. When asked who Jaemin is, they tell them that he’s Donghyuck’s friend in the library that Renjun frequently goes out with. He can’t straight up lie that he’s dating Jaemin because he knows Jeno and Mark would find it sketchy that he suddenly has a boyfriend all of a sudden. Jaemin sticks to Renjun’s side the entire time, vocally admiring the setup and the concept of modern marriage in general. Renjun entertains all his thoughts, not minding them one bit when after every answered question, he gets to see Jaemin smile.

Once most of the older visitors leave the reception, Taeil takes over the sound booth and starts to play some upbeat music. Everybody then pushes all the tables and chairs to the walls, creating a dance floor in the middle of the venue. Lucas is the first one to pull someone (that being Jungwoo) on the floor to finally start the rave proper. A few of their close friends follow, some coming from Renjun’s table, until even Jeno and Mark decide that they _too_ are going to dance.

Eventually, it’s just Jaemin and Renjun left in their table as everyone dances to whatever song playing from Taeil's playlist is blasting on the speakers. Renjun can’t help but smile at the sight, especially towards the newly weds who look the happiest in the room.

“Must be nice,” Renjun wonders out loud.

Jaemin follows his eyes. “To fall in love?”

“To love freely,” Renjun adds. “No hindrances, no restrictions... just loving each other.”

No one speaks between the two of them for a while. The blaring song in the background as well as the chatter inside the room keep the silence from taking over.

“You’re right,” Jaemin finally responds. “It must be nice.”

“How is it back in your kingdom?” Renjun asks him. “This time around, I mean. Usually, royalty plots have this sort of arranged marriage stuff.”

Jaemin laughs. “Thankfully, there’s none of that stuff back in the story. Although the commitment isn’t forced upon you, you’re still unable to escape the people prying into your life. So either way, you have to be careful with who you marry.”

“Oh,” Renjun responds. “That kind of sucks.”

“It does. A lot:”

Renjun chuckles. “I can tell.”

“But hey,” Jaemin follows up. “I believe that it’s possible for anyone to love freely.”

“I don’t think so,” Renjun admits truthfully. “Not everything goes our way, anyway. Sometimes, there are people unfortunate enough that their journey on love falls under that."

Jaemin shrugs. “There’s always a way.”

“We always _want_ a way,” Renjun speaks. “But there are times where you’re unable to go through with it.”

“All a matter of choice,” Jaemin says in a low voice, looking ahead at the makeshift dance floor. “All a matter of choice. By the way, don’t you want to dance?”

“No, not really,” Renjun says. “Not feeling like making a fool out of myself today. Plus, the music is still upbeat. You?”

Jaemin shrugs. “I just follow whatever you do.”

Renjun is suddenly thankful for the low lights in the room that allows his blush to not be obvious. As if the world is listening to him, the lights go even dimmer, and soon enough the melody of the music shifts.

 _“Alright, party people,”_ they hear Taeil say through the microphone. _“It’s time to extend the love all over the room. Get those hearts on the dance floor.”_

A soft orchestra build up starts to fill the room. Just like the first time, it’s Jungwoo and Lucas who graces the dance floor first. Soon enough, everybody breaks into pairs and follows suit. From the corner of his eye, Renjun sees Jeno and Mark join the lot.

He feels warmth all over and a smile subconsciously finds its way on his face as he watches his friends awkwardly try to get the right position, laughing and falling in love all over again.

 _Must be nice,_ he thinks again. _Must be nice._

He feels someone tap his shoulder. When he looks back, he sees Jaemin smiling at him. He can’t see much of the other guy’s face due to the dark, but his heart still skips a beat or two the instant he meets Jaemin’s eyes.

“How about now?”

Renjun smiles. “I’m going to step on your foot.”

“I’m putting my faith in you and I’ll let myself believe that you improved since the last time,” Jaemin jokes. “Besides, what’s the practice for if we’re not going to test it out?”

Jaemin offers his hand. Renjun stares at it and then back to Jaemin’s inviting gaze before he puts his own hand on top of Jaemin’s. “Don’t blame me when you get bruises on your toes.”

Jaemin only chuckles as he leads them to a vacant space on the dance floor.

No sloppy steps this time. They just dance as one.

Unlike before, Renjun and Jaemin’s hands easily find their places, and they naturally sway along the slow rhythm.

“See,” Jaemin whispers. “You haven’t stepped on my foot yet.”

Renjun laughs lightly. After that, they just let the music guide their movements once more.

A few more seconds into the dance, Renjun feels Jaemin’s hand on his spine climb up to the back of his head. Before Renjun can ask what he’s doing, Jaemin carefully guides Renjun’s head to the nook under his neck. Renjun closes his eyes and lets his head rest on the space provided, Jaemin’s hand still on the same place, carefully caressing Renjun’s hair.

With his eyes closed, Renjun can hear the song in the background more clearly, as well as the thrumming of Jaemin’s heart and his own.

_“Don’t read the last page, but I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes.”_

He can feel Jaemin’s breathing, another reminder that he’s real.

_“I want your midnights,”_

It also sinks in with Renjun that soon, he’ll no longer hear Jaemin’s heartbeat, no longer feel his breathing.

_“But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day.”_

“Renjun?” He hears Jaemin call.

“Hmm?” He hums in response.

He feels Jaemin sigh. It sounds heavy and defeated.

“I don’t want to forget you,” he murmurs against Renjun’s hair.

_“Hold on to the memories and they will hold on to you.”_

The ache in his chest reaches his eyes. Renjun wills himself to hold it in. 

“Me too, Jaem,” Renjun manages to say. “Me too.”

_“And I will hold on to you.”_

He wants to reassure Jaemin that they won’t forget each other. However, with the amount of possible uncertainties that could happen, Renjun can’t bring himself to do it, not when he himself is having doubts. They both know that Jaemin will have to leave for good soon—but they don’t know what happens after it.

So for now, they settle with this last moment. It’s all they’ll ever have left, after all. Renjun is thankful that he’s not looking at Jaemin right now because if he meets Jaemin’s gaze, he knows he’ll surely break.

_“Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere.”_

For now, Jaemin is holding him, and Renjun isn’t letting go.

For now, that should be enough.

  
  
  


Renjun should’ve done something grand, knowing that this might be Jaemin’s last night as... whatever he actually is. 

However, when they reach home and Jaemin bids him good night, Renjun grabs his wrist before he can retreat to the guest room.

Jaemin looks at him hopefully. “Yeah?”

Renjun takes a deep breath before he tells Jaemin the words he never got to say last time. “Can you stay with me tonight?”

Jaemin doesn’t respond right away, and for a moment, Renjun thinks he’s going to decline. Renjun is about to take it all back and come up with an excuse until Jaemin smiles and intertwines their hands. “Sure. Let’s go.”

That’s how they end up face to face on Renjun’s bed, still in the clothes they wore to the wedding, staring at each other as the moon casts a soft ray of light through Renjun’s window, just enough for them to see each other’s faces.

“Go to sleep, Your Highness,” Renjun greets, chuckling.

Jaemin laughs lightly. “After you.”

He knows what they’re doing. Renjun wants to see Jaemin as much as this night allows, and Jaemin is probably thinking the same. So that’s what they end up doing—just looking at each other, making sure that the other person is still there.

Renjun is the one who makes the move. He adjusts his position so that he gets closer to Jaemin, his breath now fanning over Jaemin’s face. Jaemin responds by wrapping his arm around Renjun and letting their foreheads touch. They stay like that, breathing each other in with the last chance they get to do so. Renjun ignores the heartache blooming in his chest and focuses on Jaemin—on the breath that tickles his cheek and the heartbeat that matches the rhythm of his.

“Renjun...” Jaemin whispers his name like a prayer.

He hums in his response, unable to form words.

There’s a pause, and then Jaemin is leaning in. Renjun closes his eyes, preparing himself for what will come next.

He feels Jaemin’s lips on his forehead, and his heart both soars and breaks at the gesture. Renjun can feel the tears begging to be released, but he holds them in.

There are ghosts of unspoken words hanging over the air around them. Renjun doesn’t have to hear them to feel the message. He knows Jaemin thinks the same.

He doesn’t know who falls asleep first. Maybe it’s him, maybe it’s Jaemin. What he does know is that once they surrender themselves to rest, they’re in each other’s arms with their heartbeats beating as one.

  
  
  


Renjun wakes up to the sound of his own breathing and heartbeat only.

He already knows that he’s alone, but he still checks the other side of the bed.

No Jaemin.

The house goes back to the way it is before this entire thing happened, but somehow, it feels a lot emptier than before.

And right there, under the daylight that greeted him, Renjun finally allowed himself to cry.

  
  


❦  
 **as home**

  
  


The bank account is still there, albeit with less money than before. Even the phone is there, its battery life still around thirty percent just like the last time. The coaster by the coffee table where Jaemin likes to put his mug whenever he rewatches _Reply 1988_ for the umpteenth time is still there. It almost feels like Jaemin is still there.

But he isn’t. And Renjun has to live with that.

 _Eventually,_ Renjun thinks. _Eventually._

For now, he’ll miss him and foolishly pray to whichever higher being is listening that by some goddamn miracle, he’ll come back.

Although, with every passing day, the chances of that happening gets smaller and smaller. Renjun doesn’t know that reality can be altered, but then there’s Jeno telling him that his money from his account came from the time he managed to score some luck on a bingo scratch card. There’s that clerk in the department that Renjun went to high school with asking about the bracelet Renjun apparently bought one time. There’s Johnny talking to him about the time Renjun initiated the tree climbing that saved the forest around the academic oval. There’s Mark recounting their hang out in the studio and once again apologizing that Renjun didn’t get to watch the _Terrestrial_ movie with them. There’s Jungwoo who’s convinced that Renjun went to his wedding dateless.

It’s the supposed reality, but Renjun knows it’s not.

If this is the kind of magic that Renjun has to live with, then he doesn’t want it.

But then again, there’s nothing he can do about it.

  
  
  


Renjun supposes he should be thankful that there are people other than him who remembers Jaemin, but that still doesn’t change the fact that Jaemin’s gone, so he doesn’t really feel any gratitude right now.

Doyoung looks at the pile of books on the counter, and then back to Renjun. “Already?”

He has to do it eventually, anyway. Most of the books are borrowed, so he has no choice than to return them. That’s always what happens—eventually, things return.

Even though you don’t want them to.

“Yeah,” Renjun says weakly. “I don’t... want to prolong it any longer.”

Ten arrives at the counter and once he sees Renjun, a flash of pity crosses his face. _They know,_ Renjun concludes. Still, it doesn’t comfort him.

“Is he returning the books?” Ten asks Doyoung.

“Yeah,” Doyoung replies.

Renjun purses his lips, contemplating about the words he’s about to say next. He looks up and meets Doyoung and Ten’s stares. With that, he decides that he has nothing more to lose and asks, “What happens to him now?”

They all know which _him_ Renjun is talking about. It’s Doyoung who gives him a small smile and the answer.

“He’s here, isn’t he?” Doyoung taps at the pile. “The books contain his home.”

Ten snaps. “You know what?” He nudges Doyoung out of the way so that he’s the one behind the pile. He takes all of it and then hands them back to a surprised Renjun. “Take them. Take them for free.”

Renjun is confused. “Wha—“

“Take them, Renjun,” Ten says more calmly this time. “They’re yours now.”

When Renjun turns to look at Doyoung, the guy only nods. 

That’s how Renjun ends up taking the books back to his apartment again. Only this time, he doesn’t put them on top of the coffee table where they used to be. He opens a vacant kitchen cabinet and places them there, heart feeling heavy as soon as he closes the small door.

If he’s going to live like this, then he needs to get himself together. He’ll reread all those stories someday, once he’s less broken.

  
  
  


Whenever Jeno and Mark invite themselves again in Renjun’s apartment to play some classic gin rummy, all Renjun can think of is how Jaemin would beat them in less than ten moves if he were here.

Whenever he gets a glimpse of the rastaclat on his hand, he also gets a glimpse of the silver strip beneath it and he hears Jaemin’s bright voice saying _“We’re matching!”._

Whenever he passes by the little forest around the academic oval in the university, all Renjun can think of is the time Jaemin climbed to the highest treetop which was one of the reasons the forest still stands tall even until this day.

Whenever he sees a stray cat, he instantly thinks about all the times he would tease Jaemin about being a _catboy_ during the time Jaemin is a Mai warrior, and then he’ll helplessly look for Jaemin’s eyes in them.

Whenever he glances up at the stars, all Renjun can think of is how Jaemin bent time and space just so Renjun can sleep comfortably or watch a movie he’s been dying to watch for how long.

Whenever he hears a slow, romantic melody, he is taken back to the time where he and Jaemin swayed along to the beat under the light of the moon, where Jaemin was holding Renjun and Renjun wasn’t letting go.

Renjun doesn’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse that he remembers Jaemin and all the times he’s been in the world.

Sure, he’s not alone. Donghyuck has been too sketchy on his own, as well as Doyoung and Ten and the rest of the staff in _Deja Vu,_ but they didn’t know Jaemin the way Renjun did.

They don’t know how much he loves the smell of the coffee Renjun brews in the morning. They don’t know how much he loves the drama he keeps replaying on the television. They don’t know that he’s probably watched it six times already. They don’t know that Jaemin likes to cuddle with someone in search of warmth. They don’t know that Jaemin loves the Adele songs the neighbor from across the street blasts every Sunday morning. They don’t know that Jaemin is smart and clever, that Jaemin is honest and sincere, that Jaemin is kind and sweet. They don’t know these little things. 

He’s not just a pirate, or a vampire, or a rebel, or a damned Mai warrior or catboy or whatever you call them, or a space boy, or a prince.

He’s just Jaemin.

They don’t know that despite the many characters he’s been, Jaemin has always been his own person.

  
  
  


When you’re friends for a long time, you get to the point where you know you can read your friend’s expression like the back of your hand. Renjun should’ve known this when Jeno and Mark pull him to one of the wooden benches at the academic oval.

“Renjun,” It’s Jeno who calls him first. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Apparently, Renjun’s distraught state doesn’t really go unnoticed. Still,he forces a smile. “Nothing.”

“Jun,” this time, it’s Mark.

Renjun sighs. Even if he tells them what’s going on, who’s to say they’ll believe him. They already forgot about Jaemin six times already. Renjun will just sound like someone who lost his mind.

“Nothing,” he repeats. 

Renjun doesn’t even know that his eyes betrayed him until Jeno is moving closer to him and wiping Renjun’s cheeks with his thumb. “Okay,” Jeno whispers. “It’s okay.”

That’s what does it for Renjun. He puts his head in his hands and starts to cry. Jeno and Mark are quick to go by his side and engulf him in an embrace, and Renjun cries even harder. He cries for his broken heart, but he also cries for the pieces that his friends are somehow putting back together, the latter part caused by joy.

Renjun realizes that he, too, has been holding himself back and closing himself away from Jeno and Mark. He always thought that Jeno and Mark have their own world that he created one for his own as well. However, in his case, he doesn’t let Jeno or Mark reach out to him. He’s just there, wallowing by himself.

And yet, they tell him “It’s okay.”

They’re still there for him. No matter how much Renjun makes the divide between him and the two of them, Jeno and Mark will always come back to him. From the start, they have been three. Until the end, they will always be three.

And so, in that moment, as Jeno carefully plays with his hair and Mark hums a soothing melody, Renjun lets them in.

  
  
  


They head to Jeno’s place after that to try out the new console he got. Apparently, his sister bought Jeno’s Christmas gift online and got shipped to his place earlier than expected, so he now has an early present he can share with them.

When Renjun volunteers to order the pizza, Jeno tells him to use the telephone again because his landline is registered to some sort of discount roster. After Renjun places their order, he goes back to the living room and halts at the sight. Jeno and Mark are facing each other, holding hands and laughing their hearts out.

Renjun smiles. It’s a big, fond one. He realizes that the ache he feels whenever he sees Jeno and Mark hiding their relationship gestures is not because they did it, but because they felt the need to hide it.

It’s Jeno who sees Renjun is back from the telephone desk first and unlinks their hands. Mark beams at him, motioning for Renjun to join them.

Renjun sighs. “You know, you don’t have to do that.”

Jeno blinks. “Do what?”

“Hide the handholding,” Renjun simply says, finding his place beside them. “And everything else that couples do. Seriously.”

Jeno and Mark only look at each other. The latter scratches the back of his neck.

Renjun laughs, only realizing now how ridiculous it all looks. Jeno and Mark tiptoeing around Renjun, Renjun pretending not to notice—it’s all ridiculous. 

“I know you’re probably doing it so that I don’t feel left out,” Renjun tells them. “But really, I’d rather you guy be yourselves when you’re with me. You keep reassuring me that I’m not holding you guys back, so you should the same. Don’t hold yourselves back when you’re with me.”

Mark and Jeno are still silent.

“Look,” Renjun laughs now. “I swear, it’s more awkward whenever you guys make it seem like I’ll break down at the sight of you two holding hands.”

Jeno laughs at that. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

“And I’m happy whenever I see you guys happy,” Renjun tells them genuinely. “So just... go do your thing. Seriously. I’d rather you do that than skirt around all the time.”

Mark pulls him to an embrace all of a sudden. Before Renjun can react, Jeno is already wrapping his arms around them once again.

“Geez, guys,” Renjun chuckles. “Look, I know you both love me but let me at least breathe.”

They all share a round of laughter at that. In a matter of seconds, the conversation drifts to recounting the memories of all the ridiculous times Mark tried to sneak a kiss and Renjun pretended he didn’t see as well as the times Jeno tried to grab Mark’s hand and Renjun, once again, pretended to not see. They laugh at the incredulity of it all, and as that happens, Mark’s fingers intertwine with Jeno’s. Renjun beams at them.

 _Must be nice to love freely,_ he thinks again.

Though the pain of not being able to do that still lingers, looking at his two best friends, Renjun feels some sense of comfort to know that loving freely is not impossible.

  
  
  


The realization comes to him on a bright December day.

He just finished checking the final exams of his three classes, as well as taking his own. Jeno and Mark contacted him to hang out and buy Christmas gifts together, but Renjun was too tired to socialize that he just encouraged them to go on a date.

Renjun is in the middle of watching a random holiday romantic comedy he came across while scrolling through Netflix when he finally looks at the books once again. He’s looking for the microwave popcorn bags and ends up opening the cabinet he hid the pile of books in. 

The movie plays in the background as Renjun reaches out to touch the spines of the books. Six stories that are very different from each other, with Jaemin somehow being the common thread.

Renjun’s heart aches at the thought. He’s about to close the cabinet until something about the book titles catches his eyes. 

_Rise Above Tides. Everfrost Academy. No One Left Behind. Jump And Fall. Universal Code. Night Crown._ They’re stacked on top of each other, in the same arrangement as the order of the appearance of Jaemin’s characters, with the pirate story at the very top and the prince story at the bottom, 

His breath gets caught in his throat as he sees the word formed by the first letters of the book titles.

_R. E. N. J. U. N._

He remembers what Doyoung once told him and immediately shakes his head. It’s just a dumb coincidence, he thinks. It’s just his emotions getting ahead.

Still, he finds himself unable to get the words out of his head.

_“The books contain his home.”_

  
  
  


It doesn’t take long until Renjun finally gives in and goes back to the cabinet where the books are located.

He takes a deep breath as he picks up the first book—the very book that started it all. He still remembers how the story goes, and how Jaemin plays in it.

Renjun opens the book and finds the pages where he’s sure Jaemin is there.

Only, Jaemin isn’t in them.

He frowns.

Renjun’s heart drops as he keeps reading the story, reading the same passages that he’s already read before and his breath gets knocked out of his lungs as he observes something; the words are the same, the story is the same—but Jaemin’s no longer in it. There’s no mention of the self-built notorious trader who’s known for his stellar gambling luck and skills.

He wills himself to keep steady as he picks up the second book, the one where Jaemin is a vampire. He feels the back of his eyes starting to burn as he reads through the all too familiar paragraphs and he _still_ cannot find Jaemin.

The same goes for the next books until the last. The story is the same and the story goes on.

But Jaemin is nowhere to be found.

 _No, no, no,_ Renjun thinks helplessly. It’s one thing to be forgotten, but it’s an entirely different thing to disappear.

He picks up his shoes and makes a run to _Deja Vu Book House,_ all the while praying to no one in particular that they bring Jaemin back, even if it’s not in Renjun’s reality.

 _Just please,_ he says, helplessly hoping that there’s magic in his whisper. _Please, don’t let him be gone._

“Woah, slow down,” Ten tells him as soon as Renjun reaches the library counter, catching his breath. “Are you okay?”

Renjun shakes his head, the sting behind his eyes growing stronger. “I— I need to— He disappeared— Jaemin disappeared— Not in this world, but in the stories. He’s not _there,_ hyung. He’s not in any of them. I went through all the pages and he’s not there.”

“What’s going on here?” Doyoung comes to the counter, looking from a troubled Renjun to a confused Ten. “What’s the matter?”

“Renjun, I need you to speak clearly again,” Ten says that in a gentle manner, but it still sounds commanding altogether. “Can you repeat what you said?”

Renjun takes a deep breath and proceeds to recount everything. With every word that comes out of his mouth, he gets even more frustrated, and the fact that Ten and Doyoung look so calm and collected about it doesn’t help.

Once he finishes his rambles, Doyoung speaks. “You should go to Donghyuck.”

Renjun can’t suppress a groan. “How can he help?”

“I mean,” Ten interjects. “I think Donghyuck can answer your questions.”

“Fine,” Renjun sighs defeatedly. “Where is he?”

“By the historical fiction section, I believe,” Doyoung says, offering a small smile. “He’s showing a new staff around. We just hired a new one, a part time worker just like him.”

“Okay,” Renjun mumbles. “Sorry for shouting a while ago.”

Ten laughs. “I would’ve done the same. It’s okay.”

 _It’s okay._ Renjun holds on to that.

There’s not many people in the fiction part of the library in general, and even less in the historical section. Which is why when he sees two heads popping from one of the shelves, he immediately knows one of them is Donghyuck.

“Lee Donghyuck, I need to ask you something—”

Whatever is it that Renjun wants to say, he forgets it altogether once he takes in the sight in front of him.

Donghyuck looks like he’s in the middle of explaining the sections to someone. When he sees Renjun standing by the aisle, he stops and smiles. Beside him is the supposed new staff for the library, the guy Donghyuck is supposed to be showing around.

And that guy is none other than the very person Renjun is looking for.

Jaemin is standing there, listening intently to everything Donghyuck is saying. When he finally meets Renjun’s eyes, the same surprised expression on Renjun’s face is mirrored to his.

“Ah, Renjunnie!” Donghyuck greets in glee. “Took you long enough to come here. I’m just showing Jaemin around, he’s one of our new staff in the library. Looks like he’s here to stay this time around.”

Donghyuck winks at him. Several questions are floating in Renjun’s head now, but every time he tries to ask one of them, the sight of Jaemin silences his thoughts as if his presence alone is enough of an answer. (Perhaps, it was.)

Jaemin is staring back at him, looking like he himself can’t believe what’s happening. In those eyes, Renjun sees all the moments and memories, all the adventures they had. From the time Jaemin landed in his fireplace up until the time he held Renjun on what they thought was their last night together—Renjun revisits them all in Jaemin’s eyes.

And he knows Jaemin is doing the same.

“Well, you two look like you know each other already!” Donghyuck beams. “I have to go now, it’s about time Jaemin goes back home anyway.”

He gives Renjun a pat in the back before he walks away, and then it’s just Renjun and Jaemin on the opposite sides of the aisle.

Renjun doesn’t waste any more seconds and rushes to where Jaemin is, and Jaemin on the other side opens up his arms and takes Renjun in a tight embrace.

The tears Renjun has been holding for how long starts to escape his eyes, although it’s for another reason now. Renjun holds onto Jaemin tight, his sobs getting muffled on the space between Jaemin’s neck and shoulder, and Jaemin is holding onto him just as tight, whispering words of comfort as he traces circles on Renjun’s back.

When they finally pull away, Renjun starts to laugh. In a matter of seconds, Jaemin joins him. From an outsider’s perspective, the situation feels crazier than it seems, but to the both of them, it just feels right.

“You’re here…” Renjun manages to breathe out. “You’re home…”

“I am,” Jaemin reassures him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Renjun sighs in relief. “What about the stories you left behind? The lives you had?”

“I don’t remember much…” Jaemin admits. “I do know that I’ve been somewhere. I dream of them sometimes, but it’s always foggy. There’s only so much my brain can grasp. I woke up one day in this world, with the memory of a life made for me, but unlike the rest, I know to myself that it’s a life that _I_ chose, a life I’ll never leave. Maybe the reason I was able to escape those stories is because I’m not really meant to be there. Tell you what, there are six kinds of memories swirling all over my head and to be honest, it’s a bit overwhelming.”

He then tucks a single strand of Renjun’s hair behind his ear, looking at Renjun like his eyes held all the answers.

“But you..” Jaemin sighs, a lazy smile now forming on his lips. “My mind may forget, but my heart remembers. And I remember you clear as day, Renjun. For all the uncertainties that I’ve been through, you’re the constant thing that I’m most sure of. I remember your eyes, your smile, your witty remarks, your laugh, your constant ramblings about your lifelong ventures in the field of Mathematics…”

Renjun laughs at that, hands still resting on Jaemin’s shoulders. He takes in the sight of Jaemin for a while, making sure that he’s not dreaming, before he asks, “Who are you this time?”

He feels both the warmth coming from the sun rays by the tinted window and the fond smile in front of him. It makes his heart ache, but it’s the good kind of ache, one he can definitely get used to.

“I’m Na Jaemin, as usual,” Jaemin begins. “Although this time, I’m a fresh graduate who’s going to work part time in the library while I’m studying for my entrance exam. I have a Bachelor of Science in Molecular Biology degree, which will serve as my pre-medicine program once I pursue med school. I apparently live at an apartment near your block, and I don’t know why they put me there, but I’m grateful, regardless.”

Renjun chuckles. Jaemin lets their foreheads touch before going on again.

“I am a big dreamer,” his breath ghosts Renjun’s face. “I am getting into med school because I want to be a licensed doctor. I am aiming to be a pediatric surgeon. I am pretty good at math and science, and I…”

He pauses, and in that moment he looks at Renjun with glimmer in his eyes, like he can’t believe this is actually happening.

“I am Na Jaemin,” he repeats. “And I am so, _so_ in love with you.”

There’s a faint blush on Renjun’s cheeks—he can’t see it for himself, but he can feel it there. Or perhaps, it’s been there ever since he saw Jaemin in the middle of the aisle, dipped in gold and home, like he always is.

He smiles. “Did the author make you say that?”

Jaemin shakes his head.. “When it comes to you, it’s all me.”

“Hmm…” Renjun hums, and it sounds like an extension of the thrumming of his heart. “Then the same goes for me.”

Jaemin chuckles. “You’ve had your fair share of book traveling too?”

“I’ve had my fair share of falling in love with you,” Renjun breathes out the words and breathes in the moment. “And I’ll fall in love with you whatever you are, whoever you are. I love you today, and I’ll love you tomorrow. No matter how many chapters I’d have to go through—I’ll find you and I’ll love you.”

“And you tell me I’m the one with a script programmed in me,” Jaemin jokes, but Renjun can feel the arms around his waist pulling him closer to Jaemin. 

“For real, though,” Renjun whispers. “I mean it.”

“You know, I was never certain who I was,” Jaemin whispers, still looking at Renjun like he held all the magic in the world. “But the only thing I am certain about is that I love you—and no matter who I become, I’ll always come back to you, and I’ll always love you.”

Renjun breaks into a smile, laughing fondly at the words. Jaemin removes one hand from his waist and uses it to cradle Renjun’s cheek.

“You’re real, right?” Jaemin breathes out. “I’m— I’m not dreaming… You’re here and I’m holding you and I’m looking at you—“

“I’m real,” Renjun replies. “I’m here.”

Renjun wants to laugh; there he was a while ago, worrying that he’s going crazy and that Jaemin isn’t real all along and then he sees Jaemin who’s feeling all the same.

It all sounds so unbelievable—but then again, even the beginning of their story already sounds impossible in itself.

And yet here they are, finally finding each other once again.

Jaemin smiles as starts to lean in. “You’re _magical,_ Huang Renjun.”

The first kiss is soft; just the two of them letting their lips touch and linger there for a short while, as if they’re trying to reassure themselves that they’re not dreaming and that this is real.

Renjun can feel the heat all over his cheeks when they pull away, and Jaemin’s face is just mirroring the same. When they close the gap between their lips once more, Renjun finally loses all his defenses.

It’s been a long time since Renjun let himself get lost in the illusion of magic. However, right there in that moment, when Jaemin’s lips found his and his heart started soaring and he felt everything all at once. He feels like flying, he feels like jumping, he feels like diving headfirst to the free fall, he feels like dancing in the wind. He feels sincerity, he feels happiness, he feels comfort—he feels home.

Because in that moment, Renjun finally gets the chance to taste magic on his lips. He can taste the depths of the ocean, the darkness of the night, the blaze of the sunlight, the chill of the breeze, the glimmer of the stars, the heartbeat of the ground; and the reason why he’s able to do so is because he’s kissing Jaemin, and Jaemin is simply the bright, beautiful, and brilliant things in the world all in the form of a one of a kind person that is real, and here, and pulling Renjun close.

And it’s only then that Renjun _finally_ believes in magic once more, not because he found it in the course of the events that happened these past weeks, but because it found him in the form of Jaemin holding onto him, coming home to him and above all, loving him back.

  
  
  
  


_There's glitter on the floor after the party  
Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby  
Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor  
You and me forevermore  
_

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> _*on Mai warriors: i took the entire concept from the book trilogy “The Nine Lives of Chloe King” which i thought is a good opprtunity to make catboy jaemin happen ^^_
> 
> _*on the tree scene: if you ever feel like that scene is familiar, it’s because i got the idea from the movie/book “Flipped” so maybe that’s why hehe_
> 
> thanks for reading! kudos and comments are greatly appreciated
> 
> huge thank you to mina for hosting this!
> 
> and lee!!! i hope 2021 is good to you, have a very happy holiday season ♡
> 
> for the rest, be my friend please!! ♡  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/halfmoonjisung)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/halfmoonjisung)
> 
> *** 
> 
> a bit of oversharing? (you don't have to read this) but this fic means a lot to me so i'll just share some personal stuff about it
> 
> \+ this fic is an extension of myself. like renjun, i've been reading books since i was six or seven, and i've always held it dear to my heart. although i never really left it, this is an ode to my younger self, who would breathe in words as if they were air, who would drown in worlds she doesn't belong to, who would consume stories with no rest. you've always been looking for magic, and although you're growing up and believing less and less of it, i hope you never lose hope that you'll find it someday.
> 
> \+ fic jaemin is the embodiment of all the book characters i fell in love with. throughout all the novels i read, the common thread among my favorite characters have always been this; they are kind. before i was in kpop stan twt, i was in book twt and let me tell you—it's wild out there. they often dub the kind characters as "dull", "flavorless" and "boring". that's just how they work, i guess. through jaemin, i hoped that i could show that these kind characters, these characters who don't have a bad bone in their body—they're magnificent. and through fic jaemin, i hope i showed the reasons why i keep falling and falling in love with characters like him.
> 
> \+ renjun's friendship with mark and jeno is the one that hits closest to home. in my own group of friends, i was pretty distant. i've never had a solid best friend that's like _the_ bestfriend, if you know what i mean. i've always been in small friend groups. groups of four, five, six, and such. and inevitably, in those groups, you _will_ have a favorite one, no matter what. or so i thought. i used to think i'm the least favorite, and i didn't want to hold them back so i just made up all these excuses about not hanging out. what i didn't know was that by distancing myself, i was the one making the drifting apart possible meanwhile, my friends were nothing but kind and patient. they don't understand me sometimes, but they never left. for that, i am more than grateful.
> 
> \+ renjun being a math major is parallel to me being a chemical engineering student. for someone who always has her head up the clouds, i sure chose a course that teaches me to be logical and practical all the time. i guess i wrote this fic with the thought of not really leaving the dreamer in me behind, no matter what i choose in life.
> 
> \+ on jaemin being a rebel, it actually reflects my beliefs hehe. i love the environment. it's why i took my course; because i believe that through it, i'll be able to do somethingt o help. in my uni, (which is, well, the basis of renjun's uni) there's a similar event where they cut down trees to put an establishment there, despite the protests. in this fic, i guess i wrote what i wished happened instead.
> 
> all in all, thank you for reading this. that alone makes me feel seen already HAHAHAHA. i hope magic finds you always :)


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